該不該想

如果寒假回家之後，
我能夠選擇不回來
這樣的我會不會太沒膽了？

每一次想到這，
我立刻停止自己頭腦運作
想別的事情
這樣不只麻煩自己更是麻煩家人

說真的，我有這念頭不只一兩次了。
我突然覺得自己毫無目的的在生存
每一次都以仰望的目光看人
每一次都是旁邊安靜的那個
沒有意志力的活著
沒有目標的原地踏步
只有華麗的想像
也只有善意的謊言

我愛發夢
但是不可能成真的夢
想得太華麗超越了自己的界線
爸爸說我幼稚（重音）
我知道

看到別人的成功
就越是愧疚
雖然說船到橋頭自然直
我想我不知我的船什麼時候會直

有些人很幸運遇上伯樂
但是不是每個人都有那個命
我很幸運有一個支持我的家庭
但我很不幸運活不出我自己

自私是人的本性

有個女生她一直想說：“有一天，你分手后第一個要想起的人要是我”
她不完全自私，但自私的謙虛。
她知道什麽是應該什麽是不應該
有時候克制不了自己，她依然不選擇自私的霸佔一個人，而是獨自一人在哭泣
離別可是永遠也可是短暫
她愚笨的選擇偽裝也不願表現出自己的感覺
有時候她不瞭解自己到底爲什麽偽裝，把自己弄得好辛苦
越是偽裝別人越不瞭解她
她甚至偽裝的超出自己的界限，連自己真實的感覺也給忘了

她尋找著一位可以從她的偽裝瞭解她在想什麽的人
找到了她決定不再偽裝
她知道這的確有點難也開始擔心自己會不會太過分
這也許不是她想要的

她曾經後悔那時候不誠實的“真情流露”
她當時不成熟，容易被說服
因此想盡辦法分手
自欺欺人
她和他都很難過
別人問她：“你有初戀嗎？”
她猶豫的在想她有還是沒有
所以她弄出一個答案：“不算有，也算有”
所以她不知道自己有沒有初戀

那一次之後就是她開始偽裝的時候
她害怕

Emotional

Time to emo again.
I got angry easily nowadays.
and it's after my period. @@
The two days before my period I got angry easily
but now it's the sixth day and I'm still in emo mood.

Yet I'm happy because I improved in my yoga lesson. =)
Why la? Angry what?
The weather? Yeah, I guess so.
Time passed, it's really the best medicine ever to forget something I want to forget.
but why should I forget?
It should be normal!
but I treat it abnormally.
There are nothing actually, but I made it "something".

.__. fine, I'm talking nonsense now.
Doing yoga is the best to release everything.
Release all my pressure, used up all my energy to the yoga mat and into the floor.
I guess I just couldn't accept anyone anymore because there's something making me flinch.

有時候感覺無助

今天政馬家庭日
我在房裡不斷的想，不斷的轉圈
我在想著到底誰可以幫我
房裡很多東西要帶出去，我兩隻手一個肩膀不可能自己能夠帶出去
更何況外面下雨只剩下一隻手。
於是我一直在想到底要找誰幫我
想到的我心裡已知道他們一定比我更需要人手，所以他們一定不行
然後越想腦里越模糊，一個人都想不出
我設法自己搬出去
站起來后我繼續轉圈
轉的頭暈后，我坐在椅子上哭了
但是腦還是在想到底要找誰
最後決定用電腦尋人，還好最後讓我找到了

有時候我并不想計較
我只是覺得做好自己該做的責任就好
逼于無奈我才會要做“好人”也需要做“壞人”
“好人”就是大部份東西我做好了，其他瑣碎的由大忙人做
“壞人”就是我忍無可忍才會把工作分了，但是最後還是我收手尾。
人總是吃軟不吃硬，所以我使用軟術
秉持著退一步海闊談空的信念
如果有良知及眼見看到我的“退”，請勇敢的“前進”讓你和我都在同一陣線上。
我與平常一樣很開心的說話并不代表我沒關係
我哭了是因為我真的壓抑不住
腦里自己在運作，荷爾蒙自己跑到眼淚線
或許當時的我真的覺得很無助。

EQ 很重要
上禮拜三的時候，我簡直陷入瘋狂想打人的狀態
一個完美的成品自動在我眼前消失的感覺讓我標出一大堆髒話
那天也是我image摧毀的一次，還好隊員都明白我的心情。
大一的時候都一定成群去這裡那裡，永遠都害怕一個人吃飯一個人逛街
因為害怕無助不願一個人
現在勇敢了一點，敢自己去做想做的東西
但是需要幫助的時候，還是會無助

犧牲和付出需要平衡
已經付出了一半，結果到尾聲的時候不願犧牲，那付出的那過程不就白費了
我只想說人是現實的動物 當然我也是

ciao~~

啤酒大會

政馬啤酒大會是難得可以大家一起放鬆的一個自由形活動。
昨天是第二次參加，依然還是可以看到醉酒的人。
也是我看到他們醉后的另一面。
我只喝了一瓶冰火4%就臉紅，接下來的啤酒都不想喝了因為很苦。
所以昨天最清醒的就是我。lol

但是我最不喜歡就是很遲回到房間
然後只有我一個人在冷清的廁所洗澡
>__<
結果我洗完澡叫室友陪我去廁所吹頭髮
XD

The thoughts in my mind BEFORE

Okay, it's time to say something I wanted to say REAL long ago which was stuck in my mind for REAL long.
When I was 16, I got REAL mad to the newly built couple.
Okay, obviously jealousy was spreading like cancer in my body that time.
Before I knew the relationship, I did what girls will do:
Stalk him, msn him (he knocked my msn first kay), read his blog (to know is there anything about me), check his recent activity, ask about him trough his friend indirectly etc...
Well, I will do all this stuffs was because he talked to me first and ...emmm....rumors??? @@
I don't know what other girls will do when they heard some rumors, but this is what I will do eventhough no confession from him. Small little girl ma. XD
The worst thing I felt was, he asked his friend to ask me whether I will accept him, if not he'll choose another girl (name was told! =_=). If you are a girl, obviously you will angry and beh song la!
So this is how he confessed?! Not face to face but need a third person. Great!
I then was told that he was shy. okay. I shut up*
I really speechless after that.
If ask who I liked in secondary, I would say the one I Hated before. REAL hate.
This was the first time I hate somebody.
Without any action and put hope? Second Great thing. (haha. =.=)
I don't need complicated one but simple one also don't have how can I accept la!?

Okay, this was the most exclusive blog after 3 years of my Sweet sixteen.
I don't know what urge me to blog about it but I just want to express the thoughts in my mind which was still with me now.
Some words are offensive, don't take it serious.

ciao~~

賺錢

付出時間容易
賺錢難

或許現在賺的只是一點點的錢
但是日月累計它就變的更巨大
現在暫時沒有養家的負擔所以不會有種想賺更多的意念
我說過大二自己的生活費自己付
但是那似乎不夠
一個月3000吃什麽？

昨天文化盃工讀了8小時
工作雖容易但無趣
這種小事當然是我們做的
無需思考無需動腦都會做的事情
我負責“開關門”
很簡單吧！但是做到後面我發覺我累了
原因是人太多難呼吸肚子餓
我沒資格說我是最累的，因為有比我更累的人
在FB很多人都講了，我還是在這裡恭喜廣電拿了第二名！
我聽了國貿之後認定他們可以拿第一，當時有股為廣電祈禱的意念。
但是第二名也很好啊！讓明年的學弟妹有更強的意志力！

很多事情我想做
這一次我參加了比賽
我有了大學三學分：課業、社團、工讀，缺一學分：愛情
我都很重視每一課的討論，都會說出我自己的想法
就算被他人反駁也覺得這就是討論必經的過程
我參加了瑜伽社也是幹部
上一次竟然很遲才去開門好丟臉
我找到了工讀機會
轉了那一點錢
但...
我缺愛情
可是不缺友情和親情 =)
這够了吧！

最後聽一首歌
蘇打綠的 《燕窩》



ciao~~

單身

剛剛洗完澡吹著頭髮的時候，
莫名的我頭髮與往常不一樣，手摸時很不順又有點打結（因為還濕濕的）。
但是我就是很不爽這感覺啦。

吹著吹著，很自然的跟我室友冒出一句：“我覺得我大學這4年都會單身耶。”
她還安慰我說：“不要這樣想。”

我自己講出來了也覺得好笑
吹頭髮就吹呀，想什麽單身啊？！
我覺得我真的需要好好plan整個畢業之前要做的東西。
有太多東西我想學想弄了啦！
就算單身也要單身的有意義！I don't care.

首先最重要的是賺錢。
錢不是萬能，但是沒錢是萬萬不能的啊！

剛剛節目製作管理課請來了一位三立行銷部門的學姐，
原來所有的八卦、所有的緋聞、所有的新聞都是經過他們策劃和製造的。
敬佩敬佩
但是當行銷還真不賴，可以親近藝人瞭解他們
只是很多brainstorming 的東西，絞盡腦汁想梗真的不容易
無中生有，把一件很普通的事情搞得轟轟烈烈；
把一位不出名的演員捧紅
她說要想出梗，就要趁現在在大學多參與社團辦活動
說真的也是啦！

她還說她公司有很多“敗犬”，我笑了
但是如果我走這行會是嗎？
算了，來個近期看看我肩長的頭髮吧！=)

Days with joy

Finished filming last weekend for the ASUS competition.
Such a relief. =)

From Monday's examination, I know that without practicing one will not success.
Yeah, I knew it since young. Duh~~
I passed the second studio recording test after failing the first one.
That time I was not in a good mood because an important document was lost.
Luckily I did it smoothly without any mistakes although my hands were trembling nervously sitting infront of the examiner.
It's just the same as learning guitar.
I used 3 days to learn a song and obviously this is an impossible mission eventhough if you have the basic in music. I know what to press and know how to sing, but I just need another 3 seconds to change from one chord to another. My fingers were red in pain, fingernails were short and nail polish gone off like I don't care.
I cared my fingernails since my first year in Uni, for this 3 minutes short video I got to sacrifice my hardly-grow-long fingernails to be shorten. T___T
BUT! at least I know how to play guitar and I growing interest towards it. =)

Today I went to Yilan.
Doing charity activities with children.
Some of them were shy and some were hyperactive.
A girl name Ting Ting was like fell in love with me. LOL
She loved to stick with me whenever I go.
Then, she have to go to other place with her same age of friends.
She didn't want because she wanted to be with me.
So, guess what I said?



Ha, you must go to the other library, if not the teacher will get angry and I don't know how to help you.
She got scared and go out cutely and asked me to go and find her after I finished my work.

That's it for the joyful day I passed trough.
Do what you want without any hesitation.

交錯複雜

大二



爲什麽我越來越想自己一個人，但是又不想一個人。
很矛盾的心理問題。




有時候我很享受獨自一人輕鬆自在，但是輕鬆的時候又會想很多爲什麽我是一個人的？
心情就是這麼的交錯複雜。

就好像我很想睡覺，但是腦里一直不讓我睡。

糟！鼻子酸酸的，眼睛水水的，喉嚨緊緊的。
這是自然現象，無需解釋爲什麽的。



需要發洩的時候我突然覺得沒有對象可以說。
雖然最近很開心，但是卻沒有一個真的真的能夠讓我真情流露的。
人們都說不要去等，直接去爭取。
要爭取我一定會，但是在社會關係要我去爭取是件難事。


我需要多一點的經驗。
就這樣，先讓我獨自一人的出去吧！


Perhaps 這讓我思考能力變強。
還有我要增強我的中文能力，很糟。

ciao~~

人群中的我

我...
喜歡...



因為...
我...
依然喜歡...




這是一篇很長的故事。
我好久沒有說故事了。
傳院第一次咖啡時光，我去了。
主要原因不在於當天的主題，是...........食物！
窮大學生有免費FREE 的又好吃的食物當然不能錯過。
雖然老師都看得出這群學生的陰謀。
我沒有後悔當天去咖啡時光，更不會吃完東西就拍屁股走人。
我很負責任的聽完當天ASUS的講座。
最後一部份才是重點，一項比賽。
我們這一組都是來自不同背景的人但擁有同樣的理想。

有順序和效率的把每一樣東西弄完，
每一次開會都一定會到，跟其他的完全不同。
ASUS選出入圍的10組，我們是其中一組。
雖然比賽規則不斷更改，組內也不斷的在互相討論，我們依然不放棄。

策劃了1星期，拍攝需用2天。
策劃是人生中很重要的知識。
今天星期六我們到西門町拍外景。
這是我人生中第一次那麼勇敢在這麼多人來往的城市，自彈自唱。
被打燈的我臉更有色彩了，在鏡頭前的我變成是日常生活中不一樣的我。
被化妝的臉讓我更覺得自己漂亮（愛美是女人的天性）。
所有的外在被打包得那麼的好，但是Show出來的時候卻是那麼的僵硬。
NG了很多次都是因為我的緊張，都是因為我的擔心（彈錯），都是環境的吵雜等等。
大家的包容讓我更不好意思，只有happy是最不會掩飾的人，直接把“不爽”擺在臉上。
這是第二次演戲，第一次沒有臺詞，第二次挑戰廣東話和表情部份。
在西門町街頭上，我們都被經過的路人吸引著，有的拿相機拍我們，有的真的把我當明星拍我彈吉他。也有一群學生很突然的跑到我前面看我彈吉他，表情單純驚訝好奇，讓我很想笑XD

我們這一組的組員，本來的不熟變得更熟，大家互相瞭解大家的脾氣和性格。
有直率、有不說但一說就是重點、有很多想法，總之就是一個綜合所有東西的組合。
明天希望是殺青日，把3分鐘的影片拍完我們就可以吃大餐！

先這樣，很累了。
明天加油。

ciao~~

不能墮落

學業第一okay?!!!!

以前讀書的精神快點出來！
學業還是第一!!!!
最近浪費了很多時間，自己的良心也過意不去。

頭上綁彩帶中)。
fighting.

=)

19th Birthday

Thanks to everyone who wished me.
I'm blessed. =)
Seriously I was shocked to have chocolate as present.
Thanks 垂華 for the cheese cake, you're the first one who gave me something. lols...Go to your friend's wedding la .XD
Thanks to everyone who celebrated for me.
Hot cocoa, chocolate etc.
Thanks YES for calling me to ask where's my room to give me a box of chocolate as present.
Surprisingly we chat for more than 1 hour i guess. XD
Thanks to my roommates who gave a little cute surprise with cute candles singing birthday song with cute voice when I opened the door of my room.
Thanks to you guys who wished me in FB.

Birthday is just another turning point of my life.
I'm officially 19!
One more year to experience teenage lfe!
Competitions, games, outings, crazy stuffs all I want!

Ok, study is still in the first place.
I'm not a book worm yet I will still study hard.
I'm not a genius or a clever person, I'm just smart in handling hard stuff.
I'm not pretty nor ugly, I'm just special.
I'm not praising myself because this is what we should have -- confidence. XD

Trying not to think some sensitive stuffs, everything is gonna be 順其自然.
I'm not going to fantasize my future.
So fake.
but, I still will fantasize. =.=
So lame.

I love yoga!
My heartbeat gone faster eventhough I didn't run!
That's what I want.
Run makes me feel tired, yoga too.
I prefer yoga because it's all about FOCUSING!

I love me.
I'm not selfish because to love all of you I have to love me first. =)
I love you.

ciao~~

The end of October

Everything has an end.
It is just because they want to meet another new starting point.
Calender and time are good examples.
There are no return ways.
They can be said to be parallel because no intersection for parallel, only perpendicular will have intersection.
@@ Maths pulak.
Anyways the purpose of reminding myself about these parallel or intersection is because I did something that shouldn't be wrong.
Try to imagine the graph of parallel line and perpendicular line, I prefer parallel line.
It can be straight or bent like those frequency waveforms.

I faced bent line now because there are some obstacles.
I'm thinking about the reasons to solve this problem with various types of possibilities.
This mistake is not that obvious yet I'm sure some people will realize and ask.
Okay this is one case.

I'm gonna start my Principle of Life again.
No regrets. No "I should...". No "aiya...". No "Last time hor...".
This is because there are no return WAYS! As what I said in the first paragraph.
The main thing to do is to solve the problem.
If everyone thinks the same thing, life would be better.
Comparison can be made of course yet it should be used in proper method.
I don't know how proper it should be, but it just must be proper.
LOL.

Should life be planned earlier? or Should we live without planning our future?
Different people different style, some human with second choice can live happily but they will have to face a lot of problematic things if they are unlucky.
First choice might belongs to most of the human on earth.
To have a boyfriend/girlfriend, to have their marriage at 20++ age, to have their first condo at XX age etc.
These can be Dream yet it is still consider to be well Planned.
Triumph and failure in live is due to the attitude of the human itself.

Okay, today's principle of life is kinda serious.
It's about the whole YOU, future YOU.
Human! Wake up!
Ciao~~

As busy as I can

Resolution set.
I'm really-seriously busy this semester.
Working with people that is in different frequency with me is like HELL.
Working with people who gives infinities reasons is like HELL.
Working with people who gives many ideas but will not be materialized is like HELL.
Working with people who gives dark-smelly-ugly face is like HELL.
Working with people who never do time management is like HELL.

If you think you are as busy as the Prime Minister, don't study here then.
Everytime showing pity face wishing that I can do work more than you do.
Ewww......SHIT! 
I seriously met my obstacle this sem.

People say The must and biggest 4 credits in your Uni life:
1. Academic
2. Co-curricular
3. Love
4. Work

I need number......ehem...both.
Prefer 3.
Die la.
This sem damn shuei xiao, nothing special and I'm just an old woman now.
Why my Freshman year and this year freshman so much different?!
We were like nothing last year. Is it?

I guess so.
Well, yesterday I slept for 2 hours only.
Miracle! Editing my Sem work.

Okay ciao~

愛自己也要愛別人

愛自己的方式就是任意的放縱自己瘋狂的血拼、不顧一切的做自己愛做的事情、累了就想休息之不顧別人的眼光、天天迷戀著理想中的自己、毫不猶豫的喜歡自己喜歡的人。

愛別人的方式就是每一分每一秒都是八卦的想挖出別人的料、害羞的有時候不敢看著別人的眼睛、看到別人和別的女人一起心中有股恨意、聽到別人跟你說說甜言蜜語卻有種愛意。

這是真的。
女人都是口是心非的，研究也應該研究不出女人的大腦到底是怎麼運作。
前天瘋狂的寵自己，是的，因為我愛自己。
有時候一句：“好久不見”足以代表一切。
語言真是一門技巧啊！

張愛玲的“愛”是陳年舜的最愛。
我都被她的愛給礙著了。XD
她愛張愛玲寫的那麼優美；我愛張愛玲寫的那麼的虛假。
虛假得讓我覺得非常有意思。
真的很假！No offense kay. >_<
一對人一輩子和對方講的話就只有：“唷，你也在這裡。” ，因此他們彼此相戀和想念。
看電影電視劇最不爽的就是，彼此相戀的戀人基於種種原因卻沒有跟對方在一起。
結局之後一臉疑惑的問身旁人爲什麽？他們的回答也都是“不一定要在一起的啊！”。
這是現代人的想法？
那我是古代人。

我不愛看星座也不常討論星座。
但是我要老實說天蝎座的人在感情上非常的敏感。
我身旁很多天蝎人都是一個個的樣本給我看。
心中複雜的不知自己在想什麽，也不知怎麼表達。
我甚至可以說：“你信不信我跟你講真話其實都是假話？”
其實那時候我想接這一句，因為我要說的你不能聽，只有你不能。
不過我以：“因為我不會（I don't know）講。” 帶過。
是我笨還是你笨，是我吧！
我不想用這一次來形容自己，但是我還是得用。
看電視劇，港劇還是偶像劇，聽到最HURT的一詞就是這一詞——“一廂情願”。
有時很想對自己罵髒話！@#￥%（￥# 搞屁哦！

小時候愛幻想以後的自己，現在我不敢了。
腳踏實地做好自己該做的，一切“講罷了嗎”都是講罷了。

“好久不見”

I Love my life now

I love my life now!

Finally I did what I thought of.

Yoga Club:
I love it so so so much.
Stretching my whole body and relaxing each and every part of my bone joints, making my mind blank are the best thing ever in my hectic Uni life.
Pay for NTD1000 for one semester is so damn worthwhile and perhaps it will be refunded back if I did my job well as one of the Club's administrator.
Hope that Yoga could make my life better.
I do really sweat while stretching and holding myself in place to do some absolutely-relaxing-yet-difficult moves. Anyways I hope it really helps to shape my body. XD

Exercising is the most important thing to keep on moving and to be healthier =X
LOL. The lazy-pig now is talking nonsense saying that exercise is important.
I'm sure if I say it out loud to anyone of my friends or family, they'll think I'm bluffing and don't put any hope on my determination.
Well, if you guys really do, it's ok.
It is now not appropriate to talk much because it's still in progress.
Wait lah! wait until I really had some changes I'll dare and say it out lout to everyone in the world.
I'm not going to show off but to prove:
世界上沒有醜女人，只有懶女人！
HAHA. If I success I will really say it out loud, maybe 2 years later?!
That's my goal! and find a MAN full of confidence.
Craving for man. lols... The women here are all like that @@

Working in Office of International Cooperation is my first SERIOUS job I have had.
Thank god I have a good-mummy-like Secretary to be my boss.
My timetable is fulled and surprisingly I don't have anytime to go out for shopping like last year.
I online shopping for the first time ever in my life.
OMG! There are so many FIRST time in my Sophomore year.
First time joining a competition with a group of dream-catchers.
We need to make a short video using the Title they'd given.
The prizes are awesome, I guess it will be competitive.
Confidence! I believe we can.

And yeah, mummy!
Get well soon. =D

Ciao~~

再一次的瘋狂

最近就是很少睡眠。
通通都是因為操場惹的禍。
最近真的愛上政大操場，躺在那裡看著天上的星星又舒服又自在，無憂無慮。
沒想到一餐晚餐可以拖延到12點凌晨。
從拿不定主意的晚餐，到什麽都聊的操場，再到距離遠心不遠的永和豆漿。
突然發覺我的大學生活在大二才真正開始。
不是因為熬夜才算是大學生，而是因為能夠有個可以聊得很開的團體，這是大學生。
剛剛望著天空想了一些自己對自己說的倫理：
1. 只要對方沒有告訴你真相那就不是事實。
2. 每個人態度不一樣，不能把他們的態度用自己所理解的去編造一個完美的故事。
3. 說話的藝術總得有，適可而止就行但也要看當時的聊天尺度。

早上場堪。
這一次迎新讓我與大家增進感情，當了幹部開始讓自己更加的積極。
我很想說我越來越喜歡這裡。
不知為何，暑假回來之後我好像變了。
是刻意把自己改變嗎？
是positive的改變。=D
我的部落格雖然帶點無聊但它仍然很精彩，因為它有我當它的主人。

對著喜歡的東西的時候會試著與它有距離，不敢靠近它。
這是正常的齁？
睡眠重要。
睡覺去。
ciao~~

大學生活

來到大學要找到一個知己真的很難。
剛剛瘋狂似的做出大學生都會做的事情。
半夜不睡覺躺在操場聊天。
大家說出自己的心聲，我卻不會說。
因為~~~

一度想大哭，一度想說出，最後還是吞進肚子去了。

我現在很想找事情做，做到自己真的不知道自己在做什麽。
我不要想東西，我不要睡覺醒來枕頭還是濕的，我不要讓自己頭痛。
真實還是假意自己心知肚明，我不喜歡被騙。
我不要像以前一直放不下一些事情自己難過無人知。
天蝎座真的很重感情。
身上長很多毛的人真的很重感情。

皮膚黝黑的人很在意一些小事情。
我很敏感。
對於一些我接受不到的事情，腦里會自動編出劇情，越想越遠，就讓自己哭了。
Such a relief.

爲什麽人類這麼複雜？
有的講話過於直，有些卻一直拐彎抹角。
到底是真是假沒有人曉得。
我會想到自己太天真，我會想到自己的思想還沒有成熟。
我會想到其實自己并沒有很好。
我會想到其實一切都是我在編故事，當導演，當演員。
我是一位傳播者沒錯！想像力豐富卻會傷害到自己，這叫好嗎？

部落格就是我的知己，對一個永遠不會回覆你但又願意聽你講話的東西就是好。
黑字白字總比言語、思想簡單得多。

累了，我要睡覺。
ciao~~~

To be like living

There are many things I can do.
It is whether you want to do it or not.
Lazy is the lamest-lousiest reason for not doing it.
*Papa's quote. =X
Seriously, I knew this with common sense.
No one will success without putting any effort or trying to seek as many reason as possible to avoid doing things.

Me, papa's girl mama's girl.
I was shocked when Laarni (our Philippines' domestic helper) said that Am I a Papa's girl?
I was told that I am a flower in a greenhouse (direct translate from Chinese) before, should I happy or should I not? The person is just 1 year older than me.
I do care for each and every word that people describe me.
I'm not wanting myself to be mature though.
Last summer, I thought of doing this and that to make full use of my Uni life.
It is in progress! =D
I'm trying to think more during discussion.
Trying to be more mature in the sense of thinking.

This semester would be the toughest semester I will ever have I guess.
Facing "Problems" people, facing juniors, facing my boss, facing everyone that is not in a click with me.
EQ, balancing my emotion and trying not to be too emotional.
IQ, balancing my Intelligence and trying not to be silly while talking.

I wish the new pillow I bought last week will be useful.
Less insomnia, less worries at night.
Sleep tight and have a sweet dream.

說話的藝術

說話也要有藝術——*講話的藝術*。
不是叫你拐彎抹角但就是要有藝術。

我無法承受那些過度自信的人，然後自以為自己是絕對正確的而去糾正別人。
我也不喜歡我在跟別人聊天的時候，一直試圖把我所說的話糾正好。我又不是你！
我不喜歡我在問別人問題的時候你總是愛像“教導”我的老師，“教”我“你懂我的意思嗎？”/“你明白嗎？”
頂，如果我要問你我早就問你了，還問別人幹嘛？
我就是抱著“我懂了”的心態去問別人希望他給的答案是我要的或是與我知道的相同，好讓我安慰。
你卻愛覺得很瞭解我，覺得我問的問題很蠢，所以要“教”我。
我不是不喜歡你的人，只是你所做的會讓我覺得，你覺得我很蠢。
我真的很不喜歡跟你爭論，每一次你覺得我說的東西有點問題，就糾正我。
好，我讓你糾正就算了，但是你卻根本不知道我在想什麽而下定論說我是這樣想的，這樣對我公平嗎？
你知道你每次講的話會讓我覺得，你是個覺得我很蠢的人。
這樣真的有對你好嗎？
做朋友難道開個玩笑說個超級無厘頭的話也不能嗎？
我自認我開的玩笑的確有點沒道理，但是這就是我所謂可愛的一面啊！
我說的超無厘頭你就愛糾正我說：“你應該 bla bla bla~~~”
再繼續這樣下去我真的不懂接下來要怎麼跟你溝通。

我之前對你就已經有這樣的感覺了，沒想到我一直不斷的暗示你說做人不必那樣，但你似乎沒有領悟到我對你的不太滿意反而更加變本加厲。
難道要我把話說得那麼直你才明白我要說的意思嗎？
這樣真的不好，我告訴你。
你有你的想法，那是你的。
我有我的想法，那是我的。
但是你愛把我的想法改成你的。
跟自己好的朋友講話是不用想這麼多，直接講就好了的不是嗎？
但是我跟你講話每次都要想該不該這樣講，這樣算是好朋友嗎？

我想我們聊天只能很普通的聊一些：你今天幹什麼？工讀好累哦。今天那個誰誰誰真的超級 bla bla bla 之類的吧！
希望會有改變。

Camp Rock

Camp Rock!
I wish to include music in this camp.
Playing with music, interacting through music.
because I love music.
Influencing everyone beside me.

=D

孤掌難鳴

孤掌難鳴。
做任何事情都要團體合作。
我很容易臉臭臭，這是我的缺點。I admit it.

學姐介紹機會給我，但是我想很多。
又來了，信心很重要。

whatever, 很想什麽事都不想去睡覺了。

goodbye. Ciao~~~

淺眠

以前睡覺都像豬一樣，再怎麼吵也不會起來。
最近睡眠很淺，一點點的聲音就可以把我吵醒。
好事嗎？
不用鬧鐘也可以起床。
以前很討厭早上的課，一定會賴床。
但現在早上沒課我反而不自在，因為我太早起來不知要做什麽了。
真是怪咖一個。

或許是上一次家裡發生了一些事情，讓我睡覺都有點擔驚受怕。
所以以前睡覺從來都沒有警覺心的我，現在自然的警覺了。
好事嗎？
或許吧！這樣我白天的時間久更多了。

多來

請允許我在此發言。
有時候我不瞭解自己更不瞭解別人。
我會因為自己想到的東西而快樂；也會因為別人說了與我想到的相反而不快樂。
我就是如此的搖擺不定。
剛剛與一般政馬同學賞月吃月餅提燈籠，很好玩。
但是我似乎是失魂落魂的，他們笑我也笑，講話我就沉默。
爲什麽一個人能夠推測出許多可能性？
一句話到底可以代表什麽？
別人的一句話其實很簡單，自己幹嘛自作聰明把它複雜化？
人與人之間到底要怎樣才能夠互相瞭解彼此？
 爲什麽我每次都可以讓自己覺得有希望又讓自己覺得失望？
或許我應該像別人說的，不用想太多要做就做吧！

我想說的每次都不知要如何說。
害怕下一次不知要如何收場，害怕日後拖累了自己。
所以沉默是良藥。
一個人說的每一句話真的能夠讓我心神不寧，或者讓我思考很久很久。
這是因為我沒有特定的方向的意思嗎？

可能是我多來想了。
其實一切跟之前一樣沒有改變。
我還渴望得到什麽？
擺在眼前的不知道是不是事實就自己下定論，我真糟糕。

永和豆漿回來路上我就一直在想。
也不知到底在想什麽，我都快飆淚了說真的。
想的入神真的會讓人崩潰。
我以後不會再讓自己‘自作聰明’想這麼多。
不再把東西複雜化，不再多來。

睡覺。

Changement in progress

The worst thing ever in once life is to hear someone tell you: "Eh, you fat already."
Some will accept and set their mind to control their diets.
but when it's half way to success, people will give up easily because it is obviously mental torturing.
I just envy those people who can ignore those yummy yummy foods and eat the so-not-tasty food.
Ok, keep on talking is useless, Do it now rather than keep on dreaming for a perfect body like Megan Fox.
Nah, 'they' had plastic surgery. =X ops...Some are real material la of course.

Second year first semester. I'm in my sophomore year! hooray! Aiks!
I got what I want
1. Work - to fill up my empty time so that I don't attempt to eat more while facing the computer.
2. Yoga - not yet register as member because school not yet reopen but it's to be confirmed!
3. Jog - Making full use of my school by rotating the pathway for jogging purposes.

Yesterday night, jogged from my Uni to Zoo!
Surprisingly, I jogged non-stop from Uni to Zoo but rest for a while when I went back from Zoo to Uni.
Then, walked in the Uni's sport field for one round, settled down and chit-chating with Vjing.
Lying down on the field track and looking up the dark sky which was decorated by some bright little stars, it was so relax that I made myself like I was in the galaxy without any weight to worry and just look at anything that appear in front of me.
I swear no matter how cold the weather will be in future months, I will do the same thing most probably during examination weeks. XD

The Culture Cup, last year I don't feel like joining in anymore after the months we 'suffered' and got a champion because it really will tie up my schedule.
This year I should be the accompanist, but my time clashed with the practicing time which caused me to leave.
Anyway, I helped them for these 2 days (7,8 Sept) to be the accompanist.
I just feel reluctant because this is what I like, doing things I like in a group of people who also like music.
Wish them luck in the competition. My spirit will always be there. =)

Well, I guess back to make my blog to be more colourful and information-full is how I plan my time.
想做的就去做，機會不會有第二次。

18 weeks

Reduced 100 pounds  in 2 months = 8 weeks?!
SHUT UP!
What kind of exercise are  you guys doing?!
18 weeks, use time wisely I swear!

Neglected

Oh my Goshie!
Blog neglected for so long.
Holiday suppose to be free yet I didn't blog frequently.
Anyways, summer holiday gonna end and I will be in my sophomore year in some weeks!
Some resolutions were set in my mind, I don't think I should post it here or even tell anyone.
Result is the more important than the process. =D

Not much to post and I'll update when the semester starts.

Ciao~

The Biggest Loser

Watched "The Biggest Loser" recently.
Their AFTER weight is the weight I'm having now but of course mine is lower than theirs. Duh...
Doing gym, sports, running etc all types of calories burning exercise can also be called TORTURING exercise.
I tried to do exercise i.e. jogging.
Surprisingly, I jogged for 2 circles of the park.
Leg muscles pain, the will to finish another round etc.
Doing exercise is actually mentally torturing us, it is more terrible than physical torturing yet it's for my own good la.
I wonder how to have the determination to get the result I want.
It is actually all depends on myself only ma!
I can answer it, but I still don't achieve the result I want.
My friends bought me a dress as a Achievement Award IN THE FUTURE. =__=
With the dress hanging infront of me, I will have to keep on doing exercise to wear it.

I really hope to wear it on next year CNY la dey!!!!!!
Grrrr....

看前不看後，死了心重新開始

是時候死心了。
努力的爭取至少讓我有種relief 的感覺。
打結的繩子終究需要被解結。
這一次暑假回來做了很多事情。
又是很多我不敢做的事。

我每做一樣事情都拿不定主意，這是缺點。
明年再見。
我要看前不看後。
心裡的掙扎還好已經被解脫。

避

有時候，人就是那麼奇怪。
當你知道一些東西之後，你會開始避開。
當你有一些奇怪的感覺之後，你會開始避開。
避開到底是爲什麽？

害怕講話。
害怕靠近。
明明心裡是不想的，但是就是會要避開。

心裡掙扎著，但是還是會覺得不敢講話。
>___<
我可以叫別人主動，自己卻~~~aiks..

還是順其自然咯！=D

Happy Father's Day

今天是父親節。

爸爸，父親節快樂。

Papa!!! Happy Father's Day!!!

謝謝你一直以來對我們細心的指導及教誨。
你頭上的白髮都是爲了我們而生的，
我能夠來台灣念書都是因為有你的幫忙。
你訓練我叫我做我不敢做的東西，然而我都硬著頭皮做了。
EX: 打電話給很多University and College（訓練英文和與陌生人講電話的膽量），打電話爭取自己該有的機會、如何以很禮貌的詞句婉拒別人或問問題等等。
去年（2010）我真的學到很多，也很開心有你對我的肯定。
當時我很不願意做因為我不敢，但是事情總是在最後才知道~~~這些訓練對現在的我很有幫助。 =D
Ex: 學校的政大之聲實習單位 admission 失敗后，我勇敢的去問他們不收我的原因（面對面）。雖然知道原因之後還是有所不滿，但是至少我盡力了。這跟 Great Eastern 我不斷打電話詢問的case 類似吧！=D

你學習使用科技（電腦）甚至學習你重來都沒學過的漢語拼音；
你對每一件事情都有好奇心而勇敢追尋；
你每次都有新點子（Owen Town House etc）；
其實我也很想要有那種這麼容易就能夠與別人Social的性格，但是我就是很難融入一些Topic。

每次跟你去上班，坐在你隔壁看/聽你工作就感覺自己還有很長的路要走才能夠好像你這樣。
華語、英語、馬來語、廣東話、福建話、海南話 等等 你都會講！
而且是用這些語言來跟別人聊天聊上1，2個小時都可以。
很多東西都是你幫我們翻譯的。

有時候你對我們都很嚴厲，小時候還常常說會讓我們吃“果條”，罰寫100次的悔過句子（我還有收著！），沒做一樣東西都要規規矩矩的，還有很多以後可以告訴我們的子女的小故事。=D
雖然我們每個長大之後有很多事情讓您心痛也讓你生氣，但是家人就如斷不了的水，我們還是一家人一起生活。

不管怎樣，我以你這位爸爸為傲。
朋友問我你爸爸是怎樣的人，我都會說：“我爸爸是什麽都會，什麽都懂的人。” HEHE. =D

雖然人在台灣不能跟你慶祝父親節，但是有心就好，對不對？XD
再次祝你父親節快樂。=D
要好好照顧身體。=D
我們愛你！

Colour photoshop life

I Love Colours.
I Love to play with Colours.
Blue + Orange = Contrast
Red + Green = Contrast
Sometimes we need CONTRAST in our life.
It shouldn't be boring yet it shouldn't be too colourful too.
(@.@)

I like Black and white before.
How dull my life was.
Feather:
They'll stop is to learn and they'll fly away is to reach their dream.

Few more days I'll be like a feather.
Fly back to my hometown.
=D

“我還是很希望那是打錯或漏掉的。我還是一直希望奇跡會出現~~~但是那似乎已成為事實。今天突然讓我再次想起它，我又再一次的感到沮喪。因為自己的不足造成永遠失去它，我還是有點不服氣但是我沒有勇氣再次去爭取，因為它已成定局。如果再給我一次機會，我一定好好的幹下去！”

今天討論傳播敘事。
大家一直在想要怎麼present，我有給一些建議也熱力的討論。
在選擇負責present的對象時，他們說要找聲音好聽的人上臺講。
所以每個組員一個一個試音。
另外一位組員似乎知道我聲音是可以的，是她叫我也試試看。
如果不是她，我想他們想也不想叫我試音。
我似乎早已經被封殺。
輪到我的時候我講了一段，大家覺得我的聲音夠感性可以上臺講，我當然很開心。
但是突然其中一位組員說一聽馬上聽得出這不是台灣人。
提議我的同學說：“這沒關係啊，這沒有分國別的啊！”
之後就以“那你就用馬來西亞文開始介紹好了”這個笑點帶過。
笑完了繼續討論別的。沒有想要雇用我的意思了。
其實他們會這樣也不能怪他們，是我自己沒有標準的華語。
這個責任這麼重大，被我破壞了也不好。
我不是對自己沒有信心，而是為大局著想，一切都有可能發生。

這不是重點，重點在於，這一次的討論突然勾起前幾個月不開心的事情。
他們讓我想起不接受我的政大之聲實習單位。
我做出很大的決心選擇廣播為實習單位。
放棄另一邊是因為知道申請兩邊會帶給自己不利。
結果出來，唯獨（跟我一起面試的組）我的名字沒有出現。
當時我真的瞭解崩潰是什麽，我真的體驗到傷心是什麽。
我很moody 的那一個禮拜，最後終於鼓起勇氣到那裡面對面問他們不選我的原因。
她打電話跟我說有一個部份我不怎麼好，然後還是與別人安慰我的方式一樣“可以到外面實習”。
haiz....謝謝你們的安慰，但是我很想說，我要出去早就出去了，那幹嘛還要選學校的？
我來這裡就是要學東西，學校能夠支援的，是免費的當然要去學啊！
去外面要花錢，坐車不用錢哦？！賺到的也應該只有那麼一點點。

我很想說：“算了” 怪就怪我跩！
面試這麼重要也不好好表現，真是該死！
我有時候會想我來這裡是對的嗎？
這是我要的嗎？
我開心嗎？
爲什麽我會突然覺得我沒有去處？是我接觸的東西不夠多才會這樣嗎？
我腦力只有學校那幾個實習單位，別的究竟跟我學的領域有什麽關係？
我依然是那溫室裡的小花，一直不敢踏出那溫室。
我不服氣！我真的不服氣！
上榜的出乎我意料，他沒有表現的怎麼樣啊！
爲什麽？這公平嗎？
而且我現在的情況很尷尬。
我不知該怎麼說好。
有時我會覺得沒有一個傾訴的對象。
有時我會想如果有一天這個行業不接受我，我可否往音樂這方面發展？
我是否應該更換自己的想法？
以前想讀設計，但是覺得每個人都在做所以沒有學。
以前想學珠寶設計，但是覺得很難找到好的後路所以沒有學。
我一直想太多，一直想一直想，耽誤了時間。
三心兩意就是我的本性。

我剛剛 竟然再次上政大之聲的網站看看上榜的名單，依然希望奇跡會出現。
但是，神靈不幫我，它依然保持之前那個樣子。
看來它真的成為定局了，就連候補也沒有我的分。
我真的對它又愛又恨，想不要去想它但是又覺得不服氣。
我很想做出一些東西證明自己，讓我證明給他們看不選我的後果。
我不是在賭氣，只是想尋找一個讓我把它忘掉的方法。
這時候只能靠我自己去證明，不能成為被動的人了。
自己的未來自己爭取，或許是我還沒有準備好。
這理由我希望這學期之後不會再被我用上。
我厭倦了理由的人生，我要的是證明！
真實的！
李烈說的：“想要就要動手做。”

我不想盲目的做一樣東西，也不想盲目的期待奇跡出現。
我要爭取我想要的。

SPM 考完之後，我真的經歷了不少需要爭取的事情。
有哭過、有氣過、有煩過等等，這些雞毛的小事情就足以讓我這樣，
那現在算什麽？！現在這個更雞毛！
沒有父母的依賴，全需靠自己。
在這裡四年我真的需要被磨練。
自己哭就好，到外面絕對不能讓人知道你弱，這樣反而會害到自己。

前幾個月，我無緣無故哭出來。
走路的時候腦袋似乎是放空的，但是就是想哭。
我嘗試告訴朋友，但是她似乎不瞭解我。
我也不想多說。
我重來都不會拿衛生紙擦眼淚，這一次我用了。
這樣她們就看不到了。
我很想曝露出自己真實的感情，但是我太小心了。
什麽事情都壓抑著，別人鐵定看不到。
其實我心裡很想要大家知道我正在傷心，需要一些安慰，但是我掩飾的功力太好了。
我也不會刻意要告訴他們說我哭，這有必要嗎？

好了， 這真的是我真情流露的好地方。
我腦力想什麽就印在這裡了。

晚安大家~~
ciao~~

Next Semester Wishes

Well, I decided to become the Accompanist for next year's Culture Cup Choir Competition.
And I'll be in my Year 2 of Undergraduate.
OMG, Time pass really really fast.
I become Senior and will become the Leader.
The Culture Cup is a Choir Competition held by my Uni every year.
I'm glad that I was asked whether I have the will to become the Accompanist.
Well, I used 3 weeks to decide and I said YES. :)
To be the accompanist, I think I'll face a lot of pressure.
I can't even make any mistake as in ter-press a key.
I think I'll get scold by them. LOL
Well, wish me luck next semester, everyone will be busy like hell and I'm so so happy because I'm living down hill but not up hill, so no matter how late we practice I can still go back to my hostel FAST!

Today, I had my Jazz Dance performance.
Seriously, I'm really happy when I dance.
This is my first time to learn dancing which I wanted to learn desperately before.
So now this is it, our compulsory course---Sports.
I choose Jazz to challenge myself.
I want to thank my teacher who always support us and giving us confident.
My groupmate, they are the best!
We didn't know each other on the first day, day after day, we got closer and practiced together.
It's fun to dance. We'd finally showed everyone our creativity in choreography.
I believe we still have the 'bond' to be in a group someday.
I'm pleased to have such memories in this semester.

Summer Holiday, what am I gonna do?
I wish to work in Radio or TV station to gain some experience.
Well, not only wish, must take action now.
Then, learn dancing at night.
That's what I wanna do.
To be as worthy as possible, I wanna make myself useful!

Ciao~~

Panorama in life

Panorama is a description, study or set of pictures that presents all the different aspects or stages of a particular subject, event, etc.

My life is as if Panorama.
Everything that I'd gone through was like stages and stages.
Like what we'd loved to use the function in our handphone---Panorama.
Normal phone can only capture 3 pictures and create a new wide-combined photo.
Using Panorama as an adjective to describe one life. Interesting.
When you are facing problem or feel tired, inspiration will come spontaneously.

Recently, I feel tired facing group work.
Especially with people who are strict-to-law, fixed-to-time, straight-in-speaking etc.
I refreshed back and thought a lot about the conversation we'd made, I shouldn't use so much emotional-talk in our conversation. Emotional as in being the weak one. WTH!
Well, 10 person in a group. I have had a job before, but due to the keep-on-changing-style, I'd become unemployed.
I don't know how will they judge me, but I will still judge myself with good marks because I know what I'd did.
While doing this group work, I thought a lot of things.
1. Do I have at least something that make people feel that "You must not go, WE NEED YOU".
2. Do I have a specialty to continue doing group work with other people?
3. Do I have problems when being asked to give opinions or suggestions?

Answer for No.3,
I gave suggestions honestly, but maybe due to different-minded, mine was always be rejected. Perhaps I shouldn't use REJECTED harshly, so then it should be FADED OUT WITH OTHERS' SUGGESTION. Mine will be faded out slowly. =__=
Well, sometimes I do feel not good, but I shouldn't blame on other people too.
Is there something wrong with me?
Eventhough if I have no mood to discuss that day, I should be more objective when dealing with this kind of problem. It shouldn't be emotional.
As a conclusion, I don't think I did anything in this group.
I was forced not to do anything, I just couldn't find a place for me to enter and I'm always the audience looking at them busy doing things I don't really into it.

Every New semester, I will have my own resolution.
It ended up to nothing. LOL...
Seriously, I have the determination in doing exercise on the first 2 months of my second semester. I don't think I should find reasons to persuade myself why I didn't continue for the rest 3 months.
One more thing is sleeping.
I slept early for the first month, but this resolution was broken due to some reasons.

Anyway, my panorama life contends happiness, sadness (政大之聲), angry, crazy etc.
To Success, we must Take Action.
To Take Action, we must Plan.

Ciao~~~study mood on.

Problems Imma facing

First of all,
I have a lot of things to write,
academics and things other than academic.
Neither May nor June I can relax.


I don't like group work, especially in a BIG group.
Not to say that I'm a lonely thinker, I just don't think working in a big group of 10 people will have a good result.
I got along with them well before as in giving suggestions or opinion.
but then, recently I felt that I don't belong to them because I was as if a Free-person in the group.
I actually have a job to be done, but it had been done by other people without telling me.
Yep, I should be happy because I don't need to do anymore yet I don't have anything to do.
I know it's not good without doing anything but will be done by other members.
So, I offer myself, if there are anything that they need help can ask me to do.
See~~~~~This is the worst thing that made me feel sad.
Well, after serious thought, I tell myself.
"You got nothing to do, who will care?! If you wanna have good result, join them or volunteer and be more initiative. Who cares if you don't have good marks?! Well, this is kinda realistic I know, yet to have good "marks" from other members is kinda important too."
You are active before at the front stage perhaps in the preparation stage, but normally people memories will only be in the last stage of creating project stage, thus I must have good impression to other member, isn't it?!
This is how I advice myself, TRUE?!
Whatever, if I appear more in their meeting, and give more opinion, maybe I still can be cure.

Pass few days or maybe weeks, I was in a dilemma of buying air tickets.
That time I really feel stressed and wasted most of my time in AA website.
AA website was like, GTH!!! It sucks till the max!!!
Grrr`~~~~anyway, at least I have experience in buying it already.
The most important thing is I have to plan ahead, for what I have to do etc.

Today, I was an actress.
LOL~~~
I helped my senior to be the main actress for their assignment.
Well, although it was kinda bored because there were no script, no sound.
Easy huh. Just expression must be over lo.
Quite fun and I'd learned something new. =)

Yesterday, attended the Graduation Day.
Took a lot of pictures with seniors. =)

Lyone Ivoka (FB name) 邵權。=)

Blackie, 小黑

Hun Seng, 漢城
Chee Hee, 志喜

Year One, 大一們與ROROJian

家裡咧

我覺得她很上鏡

漂亮Banlat 家學姐。=D

I gave him a card named RORO.

Bill Chow the cute one XD

I like this with no reason. =)

That's it for my photos sharing.=)
Making myself to be happier is to shopping with roommates and friends!
Ya, FYI, i bought dresses recently wanting to change myself into~~~~~a girl. >_<
Wish me luck kay, and diet in process.
Do not invite me for Buffet, I can't tahan!!! >_<

我要的是永恆，而非短暫

對，如標題。
我想要永恆的友誼，而非短暫的友情。
誒！想到什麽蛤？！XD
有時候，透過一個小小的活動認識了與你有同樣frequency or channel 的人，這很好。
但是，這段友誼可否永恆下去？
在這裡讀書的友誼，肯定沒有很多是永恆。
天蝎座的我，與其他天蝎座還蠻相似的。
重感情。

嗯，我對待家人朋友都放足感情下去。
曾經我可以因為朋友的事情而煩惱，弄的所有人都為我而轉。
上了大學，我反而像拋開這種想法，自己去尋找我要的東西。
在大學，幾萬個人其中幾個就是你的好朋友，這有多難找啊！
但是好朋友的定義是什麽？
你究竟是以什麽條件來定義他/她是你的好朋友？
感覺這是看“感覺” FEEL。

好吧！要去導生宴了，和可愛的亞維老師約會咯！XD

ciao~~

所有東西都沖上來的感覺

當你覺得自己其實已經可以放鬆了的時候，
突然一股很龐大的力量再次往你的頭腦沖去，
你會怎麼樣？
我會崩潰。

簡單來說：一波已平、一波速起。

忙完了活動，現在要忙的是報告。
很多組內報告、個人報告。
飛機票更是讓人懊惱。
promotion 不promo 好好來，讓我得不到promo price.
下次你最好跟我來個大promo讓我搶！！！
website 不要 一直lag！！！

最近，非常的emo。
很愛來個“我想自己靜一靜”的那種場景，就如電影內那些人說的臺詞+語氣+情感。
暫時不想有任何人他進來我的思緒。
再仔細想一想，其實我在想什麽？
我到底希望得到什麽？
我的規劃到底是怎麼樣？
爲什麽突然這麼空虛？

我想做很多東西，但是受限制的是我不知道的事。
上禮拜去唱K，把所有東西唱出來的感覺是爽到~~~~~~
真的很想唱歌飽。>__<

千淘萬漉雖辛苦，吹盡狂沙始到金。
哈哈哈！厲害吧這是我唯一在中學背的滾瓜爛熟的名句！=)
我很想知道那位 Neihu, Taiwan 的人是誰？
幹嘛一直view 我的 blog? @@

歡迎自己來承認。=D

Relief

What a relief.
Finally, it comes to an end.
Am I happy with what I'd done?
Can say yes and no?
50 50. =D
At least I'd learned something which is do not give up until you finish it.
I'm happy to meet new friend evernthough I know it will not last long .

OK, now it's the time for me to concentrate in academic.
If not no scholarship. >__<
Recently, drank a little bit. >_<
Well, time left not much.
RUSH RUSH and RUSH.
Then, MALAYSIA, I will be back! =D

ciao`~~~

Crazy Life with Crazy people

Have you tried to be active for 24 hours?!
OMG, I did not sleep yesterday. @@
Not doing anything but have fun.
It started from yesterday's 5 pm till today 12pm.
Went to Carrefour to buy materials for steamboat with Seniors and friends.
I bought lots of biscuits to keep stock just in case I'm hungry.

Steamboat until 10.30pm , then off to Hostel's canteen for BEER~~
Woohoo~~~Of course I didn't drink much!
I drank juice-flavor Beer, it's not really a beer la, just sweeter than other beer.
With 3.5% Alcohol only?!!
Another is wine or what? I'm not sure about it, it's milk wine which contains 17% alcohol, I drank I sip ONLY. Nice weh~~~For girls who don't like bitter wine or beer, they can drink milk wine.
Ok, with only 3.5% alcohol, my face went red and my head and neck were HOT !!!
LOLS~~~
Then, Played until 1.30am. Some went back because their hostels are at the bottom of the hill.
We who stay uphill continue playing.
The worst thing is, who lose will have to drink a cup of beer.
I sure won't drink la~~
but, I drank when I play with Year 1 friends. >_<
Not much.
After that, we were asked to go to other place because the person incharge of the canteen have to lock the door and off the lights. @@
We chit-chatted in the dark.
Whoa~~~~I only realized yesterday there are lots of seniors.

4am, we, Year one Crazy people couldn't sleep.
So, we decided to go to KTV!
OMG, this was the longest KTV I had before.
We sang for 6 hours until we don't know what to sing.
I'm happy because finally I can sing loudly and the sound system is very good~~~
As if I'm having my own concert with 3 listeners?! @@
Anyway, their KTV sound system is not bad, but the only thing I'm not satisfied is that their SONGS~~~~~ arghhhh.....their songs are all not up-to-date, English songs are all old song and those stars I know didn't appear.

12pm, back to hostel.
Made myself clean then slept till now.

Conclusion~~~~
My life is rotating 180 degrees.
I'm not an owl. Q__Q

ciao~~~~

Singing is better than talking

Okay, I realized that I blogged using Chinese too much recently, so here comes my English post to not making my English worsen.

Today, doing the same thing as in Singing and Shouting.
At least~~~ We had some responds from those pedestrian, they looked at us and asked what were we doing etc.
I'm not as usual as before, quieter ???
Yeah, I didn't talk much with teammates because I felt that I couldn't even involve in and the topic they were talking about was not what I know.
Perhaps, the gap between them and I is getting bigger and bigger.
I was trying to fill the gap but it didn't works well.
Maybe the period that I leave them was too long and causes the relationship gap to grow bigger.
I was once frustrated and wanted to go away but it's not in my principle of life.
My leader realized how I felt and told me that this is how I should learn to be more socialize.

Today, the thing I enjoyed the most was Shouting and Singing the song, because everyone was doing the same thing with me, so I didn't have the feel that I'd been abandoned or something.
I know my leader knows what I feel, so to not make me feel that I'd been abandoned or what, she let me do some job.
Am I right to think like this?
or she just want to punish me for being so emo recently?
Nah, what I'm thinking now is 22nd May please come earlier!
I don't want to stuck in this place anymore.
It's not hell or heaven, I think I can't fit in and this place is not mine.
Forgive me for being so straight forward.

Anyway, I'll have my English Presentation next week.
I confirm will elaborate more about the BEST AGE which is 21 y/o---the Golden Key thingy.
My English teacher seems like didn't understand what I meant about the Golden Key and making fun on it.
Well, I'm not saying that my teacher is not serious, but I just don't think it's funny yet it's important because 21 y/o is the turning point of our life!

ciao~~

OMG

糟糕！
那種感覺又來了。

嫉妒，不爽，很累。
讓，算，怎麼辦。
時時刻刻注意。

不管了。
在還沒有很深的時候，順其自然。
如果我真的真的確定了，我必定會抓住，但是我相信我~~~~心不狠。

我不知道是不是因為不想傷害清醒的我而說出答案。
我好想大聲的問！

但是，想一想我的答案或許只是那一下下的。
心還沒定下來。
就這樣。

另外一件事情。
我很想退出。
退出我不想做的事情。
我承認我後悔了。
雖然只剩1個禮拜，我依然對它沒有心了。
我不喜歡它了。
你可以說我三分鐘熱度還是怎樣。
我只是覺得這種工作很好笑，很像白費力氣的工作（抱歉）。
我越做越一直想，
你們做這麼多，花那麼多錢，爲了就是我們團結。
讓我們認識新朋友。
對！這是我要的。
但是，做的工作不是我預期到的。

它~~~~就是~~~~~你猜咯。=D

我好想安靜的呆在宿舍讀書。
讀那本厚厚的《認識電影》。
我不想再落後了。
傳播與社會也是重要的科目，
我不想因為這些浪費我的時間。

One more thing,
我~~~~聽說了很多對你不同的看法。
我個人覺得你人很好，聊得來，所以選擇與你。
從人嘴巴得知另外一個你，我選擇不相信或只聽就好。
每個人都有自己對另外一件事情的觀點。
或許他是從另外一種視點去觀看你吧！
希望下一年真的能好好的生活。
我要快樂~~~

Games - truth

Yesterday went to a "Compulsory" Programme organized by my department at Taipei Library.
The worst day I'd ever had.
Worst as in the weather made me think so. >_<
RAIN! I hate rain yet I hate hot sunny day too.
My umbrella didn't make any use.
It's Soft and errrr stubborn?!
Well, back to the programme, kinda boring and not much fun.
Things that made me in the mood was their FOOD!
Every 2 hours food will be provided. =D

Going back time, my friend and I played GAMES.
Logical Thinking or Critical Thinking game etc.
He quite nice. =D

Night, rehearsal for Thanksgiving to Year four Seniors.
Midnight, chit-chat at Canteen.
Plying Truth or dare without dare.
Everyone telling the truth and the answers were freaking shocked!
Hope that the bond will not change after this.
I know it will be a little bit awkward someday but I'll still ok.

Ciao~

不順利

事情過的很不順利。

金旋獎——越來越覺得自己在這裡沒有什麽“光輝”。Q__Q
僑生周——雖然一切都在last minute 做好，但是傷害了自己的體力和精神。
政大之聲——沮喪的消息，我大學四年都不可能進這唯一讓我有機會實習的電臺。
學業——什麽都還沒做好，覺得這學期好混亂。
系學會活動——由於參加太多活動，廣電周都不參加，感覺與系上的人越來越疏遠。

我到底是怎麼了？
之前自以為安排的很好，結果現在一塌糊塗！

這幾天，眼睛很腫。
走幾步路，心裡莫名酸酸的，自己流淚。
上課也在流，
下課了也莫名的流。
走路去上課也流。
下課回宿舍哽咽嚇到室友。
佈置攤位的時候一直發呆。
走到哪裡都發呆。

結論：我接受不到咯！

心裡一直在掙扎一些事情，但是要說出來也不知是什麽？
政大之聲的失敗我承認對我打擊還蠻大的。
我現在不知道要做什麽。
好希望這五月趕快結束，到六月我只想專心讀書。
再回家。

回家~~~
此地不留人，必有留人處。
我一定會更好。

如果你突然在睡覺的時候想：
我的好朋友到底是誰？
我心情不好或難過的時候，我哦第一個想到的是誰，而我會跟誰講？

我的答案：
腦力出現的面孔不多，但卻沒有定點。

或許上大學就是要獨立吧！
我已經習慣自己一個人走在路上了，感覺超自在。
以前總會覺得孤單，爲什麽我會是一個人的，而別人都是有partner？！

我不管這些了。

謝謝大家的加油和安慰。
謝謝！

我的出現，帶成不便

今天，我有感而發。
因為，
我的出現，帶成不便。

我想，今天我講話講不到10句。
生活是如此的簡短。
我預想不到我會做這種事情。
沒有預期會有今天，但是我經過了今天。

我不知心裡掙扎什麽，或許這一次（就這一次）真的不是我喜歡的。
眼淚線莫名發達，在聽別人彈奏自己的歌的時候，腦力許多畫面頓時出現。
我就是那麼的莫名。
莫名其妙。

那里，很多人，但我覺得一個都沒有。
那裡，很少人，我卻覺得很多人。
我不算是與眾不同的 ，偏偏在少人的地方我還算有价值。
虽然在多人的地方我与别人不同，但是可以算是没有价值。
这是什么逻辑？
對！是我創的。

我之前喜歡它，但是，我漸漸不喜歡它。
甚至想找很多藉口想避開它。
避開很難，離開更難。
所以我告訴自己，避開不是解決的辦法，面對再解決就一了百了。
做人要有原則。
我曾有個念頭：就是把它說的清清楚楚，好讓我能夠擺脫它。
想了一下，我覺得事情不應該是這樣，因為我不想有個不好的結局。
我不想當自私的人，拋下爛攤子不負責任，畢竟這條路是我選的。
錯就錯在我沒有好好的思考我自己的能力。
都是我。

沒想到，今天當了“省話一姐”。
也好，讓我瞭解自己有多么的不適合在這種場合。
真正的我不是“省話”的，但這場合讓我省話。
都是我。
人際關係真的很重要。
只會面對一小族群是不夠的。
我以後可能還需要面對更多不一樣的人，想必這一次真的是一個很大的磨練。

謝謝你的嚴肅和體諒。
我不恨你，更不討厭你。
從你身上，我看到一個領導者該有的風範。

我想今晚要晚睡，因為我的習慣復發。
心情不好就吃東西。
爲了不讓自己發胖，晚一點睡覺讓胃慢慢的把食物消化也好。

還好，回到宿舍我有笑。
想到下一年，也許是以後，我不會再跟現在的室友一起住，真的有點捨不得。
我們有緣一起住一年，一定還有其他有緣的事情在等著。

Blog When I'm not in a good mood Part 2

加油。
Add Oil.
It's simple to type ADD OIL these two words.
but is it easy to accept?
Thanks for the comforting, I can feel the sincere.
I'm really gonna burst if I don't cry now.
Everything comes in but not going out.
I feel proud with myself once because I think I could manage my time well.
Yeah, I still think it's well though.
but....
Sitting infront of my laptop, facing things I don't wanna face with.
Roommates seem like don't understand me well and they have their things to do.
and I'm as if alone in this small room.
After reading the email from dad, tears came out and it's just like a relief.
Although dad didn't write anything in the mail but posted pictures of us, I can feel the warm.
I don't wanna regret in doing things I choose.
Can say that I'm "perfect" lover?
I want everything to be perfect and do all my job well.

Give and take is the most important thing when there are things clash together.
Sacrifice or not?
No matter how, I stepped into this game and should end it nicely.
I know if I give up now, i will be the enemy of everyone.
As a PERFECT lover, I wish I can go through everything from now on.

Thanks BLOGGER which always accept everything from what I wanna express.
but you will never give any comment or reply on my feeling. *sad*
Whatever, you'll still be my best friend!
I love you BLOGGER. =D *tears*

I wanna have a BF

I want to have a BOYFRIEND!!!
You know why I desperate?
@___@
because someone, that I knew last sem through an activity,
Kept on asking me to go out and ask whether I'm available.
I find a lot of reasons to avoid these kind of QUESTIONssss.
know why?
I just couldn't accept lo.
Maybe he just wanna be friend or what, but still I can sense ma!
I don't know he's serious or what.

The story should begin like this:
The day after the activity, he added me as friend in FB.
Then chat like normal friend.
You know la, chatting sure will say something about GF or BF,
so chat chat chat, till the end he say I'm in his LIST.
LIST?!!!
My respond to him was o.O,
then bye, offline, off to bed, and sleep.

After "this case" no more interaction as in no "like" no "comments" those stuff.
This sem, he suddenly active in my FB. =___=
Ask whether I'm available to go out maybe to have a dinner? @.@
I have interview so rejected.
I don't know what reason to give anymore if there's next time.

Therefore, know why I wanna have a boyfriend?
because if I have a REAL BF, I don't need to search for reasons etc.
Can say I'm picky in choosing a BF or anything, just everything depends on the so-called FEEL.
If we both are in a click, then we'll be a great couple.

Haiz, anything.
I don't know why I always want to pretend like I'm superb infront of those guys.
Ego?
lols......
I'm not sure though.
I just wanna be myself.
I'm like this and it's my characteristic or specialty?
I'm sure in this SMALL world I'll have fate with the special one.
=D

Ciao~~

行事歷 Schedule

好好好！！
爲了不讓自己忘記，也萬一自己忘了帶行事歷。
部落格是最好的備忘錄！
來咯！=D

4/29
11am 東吳大學宣傳金旋獎
6pm 第一次彩排文化紀錄片（主持人）
8.20pm Wakawaka 彩排

4/30 2pm 政大之聲面試 (Be prepared!）

5/1 寫作業！（資訊科技與素養）

5/2
11am 跑台大宣傳金旋獎
6.30pm 總彩排 at 生僑組

5/3 剩餘時間做傳敘作業！

5/4 傳敘做訪問

5/5 五粵天比賽

5/6 金旋獎初賽
12.10pm ~ 1.40pm 文化紀錄片 at 行大3&4會議室
7.30pm~9.30pm 弦樂演奏會 at 舜文大講堂
資訊科技與素養作業4 deadline

5/7 金旋獎初賽

5/8 金旋獎初賽

5/9
12pm go to 羅馬廣場派DM
6.15pm~7.45pm 文化紀錄片 at 創意實驗室

5/10 政馬嘉年華

5/11 政馬嘉年華
500--600字個人文山故事（傳敘） deadline

5/12 政馬嘉年華

5/13 服務課

5/14 服務課

5/15 王亞維作業deadline
政馬送舊

5/18 金旋獎宣傳市政府跑街

5/19 校慶

5/20 校慶

5/21 金旋獎宣傳大跑街

5/22 金旋獎決賽！

過了這忙碌的五月！我要進攻《認識電影》這本書了！！！！
不然期末考我不知道我要怎麼考了。Q__Q

加油！
這是我選擇的，我必定能做好。
=D

Say YES say NO by your ownself.
Make decision by myself! =D
只是冠軍獎盃！
那一次我做得到，這一次我也做得到。=D

Mid-term

Everyone is busy in doing revision.
Mid-term examination is around the corner!!!
I, still spend time in blogging. Duh~~~
This is the first time I don't feel like doing revision because my brain secrete hormone and tell me that I did revision after every class, so I thoroughly know how to answer. lols~~~
I'm not showing off or what lah! Just I really don't think I need to make myself burst into pieces just because of mid-term although marks are quite high. @.@
Confidence somehow is a killer.

I did revision today! Serious!
I forced myself to off the laptop and put as many paper on top of my laptop as possible, so that I can cover it and don't look at it.
Laptop somehow is a killer too.
It's small and convenient.
Internet somehow is a killer too.
It can connect to Facebook and all kinds of website. Duh~~ =.=

Anyways, I locked myself up in the room today without going out besides went out for lunch lah~~
Studying Communication theory will really drive everyone nuts!
Everything is in Chinese, it's ok to me lah, but anyhow we'll asked to memorize those intellect's name. Adui!!!
Noelle-Noemann, Petty & Cacioppo, McLuhan, Hovland etc.
It's memorable if it's in English right?
Know what? I have to write in Chinese!
Adui!!!
Their Chinese name also got specific word.
Chinese words' specialty is that each and every chinese word have their own meaning, if you write wrongly even though the tone is the same, you'll still wrong.
Yah, maybe English too. =___=

I'm looking forward for activities after mid-term week!
Everything is cramped in End-of-April and May!
Golden Melody, Singing Competition, Malaysian Student Association thingy, outhing with friends etc.
Life huh. =D
This semester is quite busy to me.
Time flies without you noticing it.
A friend of my friend passed away (drowned).
He's Utarian or Tarcian I forgot already.
May he Rest in peace.
I was really touched after viewing what he wrote in FB notes.

My English is worsen now.
I can feel it.
Sob..


Ciao~~~
Off to books. Q_Q

Blog when I'm not in a good mood

It's been a long time I'd idle my blog.
Busy April!!! You know why?
Publicity for Golden Melody again!
Went to many places i.e. Tai Zhong's Dong Hai Uni and Feng Jia Uni.

Went to Zoo with Year One friend on the so-called YEAR One Gathering. =___=
5 out of 14 people gather.
Anyway, we- 5 of us were happy by gossiping with each other.
We talked about our childhood, talked about out first impression towards everyone of them until the waitress asked us out. LOLS~~
This is what I'd loved!!!
Talked non-stop and laugh non-stop.
The zoo is last minute decision because we still have time to idle.
That was my first time to Taipei zoo.
It's very normal and doesn't look like a zoo, perhaps like a garden?!
LOLS~~~

Fui Yiing Lee

Kai Ann Leong Bao Lin ChiaNianq Shun

I'd even went for a recording in 综艺大哥大.
First experience weh!
Record in a studio and TV show are totally different!
Different in the sense of FEEL.
In the studio, the host will have to talk like he's in a HIGH mood even though the surrounding is QUIET. To make the audience laugh, they have to laugh extremely like nobody business although the people around them don't laugh.
WE~~~have to laugh extremely too as what we asked to do by the Assistant even though we don't think the joke is funny.
This is what we call it~~~To create effect we have to affect the audience.

Anyway, I took a lot of photos within these few days.
Used KIWI's camera because his cam is so damn cool.
I have some photos too, but maybe I'll just upload some which is nicer.
Some photos I really need to share: *edited and took by Sun Lee, damn nice. =D*

Get ready!!! XD

Rat brain

First dissection by me

Dissected into 6 parts

Not white chocolate but brain

Killer with a sweet smile

The so-called Jack with me--Rose XD

Do not kiss me you Phantom!!

Yeah, these photos were taken in my class.
A subject about brain.
Another series of photos were also taken by Sun Lee's lomo using old film.
It produces special effect like this:








OK, that's it. Other photos are normal. =D
Oh yeah.
I went to night market with seniors just now after dinner.
It should be somehow full of laughter, but it didn't have.
Anyway, no more outing from now on.
It's not because of today yet today is part of them too.
Like what I said,

Don't always be YES man/woman, we need to say NO sometimes.
I don't know since when I don't have the guts to say NO to somebody's invitation.
If I really want to, I'll say it in the way of joking.
K lah! My prob.
My business.

Ciao~~~

Continuing days

Golden Melody publicity, gathering etc.
What's the purpose I blog???
To remind myself that how I passed through my young age.
We always be reminded or advised not to waste the time when we are young and join more activities due to your ability until it's enough.
I did join and it's tiring.

Past few days went to Tamkang Uni, the most expensive journey yet happy journey.
Photos were taken and I'm gonna upload it later.

Yesterday was MSA so-called Beer gathering!
Woohoo~~
Everyone got crazy and drunk.
Well, I never drink lah kay!
Drank a little bit maybe 2 cm of the height?
and I used 30 minutes to finish it.
So I will never be drunk.
Surprisingly, Miss Long Siew Ching drunk until she couldn't move and didn't even realise that she was extremely not awake that time.
This is the first time in my real life to see drunker other than in the movies.

Anyway, played with seniors, snapped silly photos as in jump jump jump.
lols...Waiting for Sun Lee (fb name) to upload. XD
Another thing,
I have a friend, we can say forgot to celebrate her birthday.
She's a girl, of course she will be sensitive la!
Yesterday the sophomores celebrated another sophomore's birthday, she's standing far away looking at them.
I feel sorry.
I know she will feel bad too, perhaps.

春遊 to 宜蘭

政馬春遊終於結束了。=D
3月26日，我們一群馬來西亞人到宜蘭的一些地方玩了一整天。
其實地點的名字，我本人不清楚。哈哈！
Pictures tell a thousand words.
Enjoy. =D

瀑布

這張我看起來好瘦！哈哈，我最喜歡的。=D

第二層其實并沒有多高。還以為會好像爬山那樣（升旗山etc）第一和第二差很遠。

帥吧！學長啦，旁邊的學姐竟然吃醋我和他拍照！哈哈哈哈。

只能停留在這裡，因為第三層不能進去（下雨）。

最愛這張！=D

大一、大一、大一、大一、大三！哈哈.

只有五個大一去。

有feel 吧=D

五個大一 VS 五個大四。對比打嗎？我覺得沒有很大啦。

大三三八組。XD

竟然拍下來放上FB tag JS Pang

到了國立傳統藝術中心，超級好玩。裏面的東西都好奇怪，整條街走完需要一整天。而且好像DIY好多好多東西。

很特別的意見店，全是使用紙皮製的叻！我坐在紙皮椅子上。

紙帽子！

原住民帽。

貴婦帽。XD

在這店買了糖蔥。後悔。太甜，不好吃。
結果到另一家買龍鬚糖。還蠻好吃的。

不是fa hiao~~~是覺得椅子很特別！

在展示館裏面。

也很愛這張，斯文look。

造反的人。XD 已經寫明輕忽攝影我卻~~~攝了。

還有很多很多照片呢！
這次的遊玩感覺還蠻好的。
最好的是在客運上可以唱K！
好笑的事情也很多。
EX: Bill Chow 睡覺打鼾聲超級大聲的！
Ah Bao 唱歌唱不停！
Pauline Chia 借我雨傘借不停1

哦對！我們DIY了自己的筷子。
過程就只有磨磨磨！磨圓四方的筷子。
還好我畫上了一些東西，不然真的沒有滿足感。

這一次的春遊就是讓大家感情更好。
不去的大一真的有點可惜。
但是，我相信還有更多的活動會實行。=D

晚安咯~

ciao~~