隱形的感覺

不知從什麼時候開始
我喜歡上這感覺
喜歡在人群中不顧別人眼光做我自己
甚至能夠不憂慮的解放心裡所有的慾望
前天我又去了那地方
我真的想也沒想到我又遇見穿紅色衣服的人
但是不是熟悉的面孔

在當下我並沒有覺得我的做法有錯
離開人群、沉澱自己、慢慢清醒之後
我~~~突然覺得有點不舒服
這隱形的感覺 說白一點就是隔著一層布在互動而已
也感受到了前所未有的 互動
但我很快就把它結束
因為我至少還有一點的理智在
我一直很不清楚的是
紅色現在一直跟“大便”連在一起
Oh, 我真的出問題了。

那次也讓我真正體會到
有感覺和沒感覺 的差別
大的呢！
雖然自己想了之後覺得好不可思議
爲什麽會有人發明這種玩意兒 讓年輕人去玩
或許是這是其中一個解放的地方
但老實說我真的把所有的煩惱所有的負擔都拋在一旁
感覺真的是很舒服

之後還要再拼一堆事情
希望這學期能夠順利的過

Missing someone

And yes, I miss you again.
So I cried. I won't tell and I won't show.
I know this is super stupid, why am I so silly?
I tried to let go, filling up the timetable FULLY, yet I can't avoid missing you.
You're not extraordinary, you're just a normal human being living on earth.
You have lots of things that I don't really like, but still I miss you.
I don't know where the hell do these thoughts happened on me, trying to accept people who smoke, who drink often. WTH!
I kept on persuading myself that, I like you is because of THAT small little moment, it shouldn't last for so long. Then?! It last for so long now.
I'm just too tired to get updated from FB about you.
This is seriously god damn  unrealistic.
Making you as 'Close friends' as if we're close enough.
WTH! I'm so stupid, so silly, so useless.
Yet, I have my own setting though.
I won't be the one who take the initiative to start a conversation.
So now, one month goes on, your light goes green everyday and I'm waiting like a stupid waiting for miracles to happen?! WTH.

When the hack is 'LONELY' appeared in my life now?!
I feel so unsecured.
Although I made myself like no-need-anyone-to-care face, but it is seriously a fake one.
Everytime when I want to find someone to eat with me, either lunch or dinner, my mind went blank.
Yes, I have dream to reach, but without help, I need to go on a long long long journey.

Tired.
ciao~

Maturity

It seems like maturity reaches me after the 2 months+ summer holiday in Taiwan.
Well, I did nothing special.
Just making my life busier and filling up all the blanks in my Schedule book.
Working is the only thing that I can do last summer, yet i really enjoyed.
Although I know administrative stuffs do not suit me but I can at least learn some communication techniques.
I loved to talk, but surprisingly I lower down my profile the first day I'm here, yes Taiwan.
Perhaps it's because of the differentiation between culture and habits, we speak the same language but what about the accents? what about the jokes? It's highly related with the society and the environment etc.
I made a lot of effort to adapt in this environment, in this culture that I tried to avoid before.
I was just too ego, thinking that people should be influenced by me.
Yes, I always putting myself in the middle of the circle, right in the middle point of the circumference.
Okay, I lose.
My opinions were always be rejected, my OVER creativeness is like a recycle paper waiting to go into the machine and be destroyed immediately. I made up my mind:" okay, I'll be quiet and you talk."
Well my classmates are all intelligent people, they can think and think and think, giving as many reasons as you can. At the end no conclusion, making everyone dizzy, don't know which to be decided.
Not to say that my opinions should be accepted, brainstorming is to listen and accept everyone's creativity. After collecting everything then only we proceed to the cruel SELECTION PROCESS.
Anyways, I'm happy that I dare to step out of this society.
I met some special people, different people during this summer.
I learned a lot from them, not from their intelligence but the way they think, the way they live.
They inspired me to make something different, influenced me that live is not like what you think and live is not just a straight line. YOU ARE THE ONE WHO MAKE YOUR LIFE COLOURFUL!
Our live were planned in a sequence before we step into the University, everything was like going through so smoothly because it was planned by your parents. but I was once perplexed, I don't know why am I living for these things? why am I doing all this stuffs? Why is my live was planned LIKE this?! I got no more time to stay in university, only four years. I must at least do something to prove myself, to make myself proud. Not to other people but myself.
It's really hard to describe my feeling through out the 2 months, but I can really feel that I'm ready to open my heart to love and adapt this so-called new environment Taiwan. I know it's a little bit late, but I'm happy now, being more optimistic and I am who I am NOW!
I told my Junior:"In university, we must always be initiative, chances will not wait for you but it's waiting for you to grab it from other people's hand." Yes this is another cruel site of this society. Prey-predator relationship.

Giving a perfect conclusion to this post is:
To make yourself happy, try the things that you never tried before. Then you will find out a solution to save yourself. Of course do not ever try to forget those talents that you are gifted, make full use of it and try to insert some other new things that you learned and improve slowly towards a PERFECT MASTERPIECE.

一時的東西就要懂得放下

我不知道喜歡是什麽感覺

我只知道我現在的感覺是一時的

我不想再透過虛擬的FB得知你所有的行蹤

我更不想腦子里都是在掛念著一個‘接近不可能’

我不想每次都等‘比’看誰先開口

我不想一直習慣性的‘希望’你會出現

我很不希望自己這麼的白癡

我自己氣我自己哭

我自己安慰自己笑

原來我真的感覺到了孤單和寂寞

看到情侶不是嫉妒而是羡慕

或許以前我也很想要有男朋友

但是那種感覺真的不比現在強烈

我不是石頭做的

外表堅強內在卻一直在掙扎

我找事情做其實就是要忘掉這一時的‘模糊’

所有的所有都錯在暑假前一個禮拜我豁出去了

或許這不是錯而是學習

學習讓自己更懂得去應付事情

今年暑假我得到很多學到很多

我是感情深的天蝎座

只要一隻腳踏進感情花花世界

我需要很長的時間抽離

這對我來講更不是一件容易的事情

我好希望自己趕快不去想

明明喜歡是一件開心的事情

爲什麽我要想那麼多？

Concentrate

Oh Hey Back again
Probably because I deactivated my FB
And sweat that I kept on deactivate-activate-deactivate-activate it, so now FB can't stand my playfulness and punished me.
I have to wait for 24 hours to activate it again.
Okay, serious don't think deactivate it is so that easy, you will need to pay more for what you did.
FB thinks you have some other reason to deactivate it so it can control your activation.
Well maybe next time you might need to wait 48 hours to activate it again, perhaps.

The only thing I'm so confuse is that should I let it go?
Ah I just hate this feelings now
I don't know how to describe it by words
Waiting is not the proper way to be loved
And why am I waiting?
Wait for what?
Wait then lost it?
Wait then give up?
but! the only thing is that you don't know what you are waiting for!
You are already in the mist that WHAT is YOUR TRUE FEELING!
You don't know is your feeling right?
You don't know is it REAL?
You don't know what they both thinking!
You just kept on guessing and guessing and guessing, at the end you conclude yourself and made decision yourself! Weirdo....
Yes, WEIRDO!
You say you want to concentrate, but actually this will only make you more suffer, serious =__=

Whatever, no more emotional things.
Say something about my work at Maokong =)
This is the first time working as a waitress, to serve people, to do things I seldom do at home.
I sweep and mop the floor
I wipe the windows and doors
I say 'WELCOME' and 'THANK YOU' so often to customer
I take order and give explanation
I wash loads of dishes and it actually spoiled my pretty manicure T__T
I be the cashier and sometimes will count wrongly
I stand more than 8 hours
I can't be lazy because there is a BOSS and another Bigger BOSS who will never care people's feeling looking at US, and I don't know why this Bigger BOSS can be so cold-blooded yet the BOSS is so good so different.
I used to be lazy and kept on finding reason to make myself rest, but this time I will find things to do, I don't even dare to say "CAN I REST?", If I do how dare I!?!? OMG, other people are more tired than I am.
BUT, I'm happy working there
Feeling that I'm not wasting my live sitting in the office facing computer everyday.
At least I used my whole body cells to do something
Although I just take order, send foods and drinks, ask customer to pay the bills, but this job is really different from what I thought before.
The people there are NICE! Super NICE!

Working 6 days in a week, never letting myself to rest.
Night is for Piano, Day is for Administration work, Weekends are for Maokong.
I'm Part-Time queen =)
BTW, I choosed swimming to be my only entertainment.
I can swim nonstop NOW! ah hah! =)
Breaststroke, Freestyle ON la!

I can't believe that I can be a WORKAHOLIC
because I was a SUPER LAZY girl before,
thinking that WORKING is not fun
So, don't want to work wasting money and use parent's money
I guess my papa and mummy will be happy that I will think this way
I should thank them though giving me a chance to be independent

Conclusion:
Do not ever depends on other people, find your own way to solve the problem when you face obstacles
Especially when you are confused, just share your opinion and thoughts to people that you think will give you good advices, but of course FIND THE RIGHT PERSON.
When you solved it then only share also no harm.
Concentrate on what you are doing.
Typing then type properly
Working then work seriously

okbbciao~

停下來 想

Yes, I deactivated my FB without telling anyone
I'll be back anytime, I'm just not sure when should I go back to the virtual world
It's like a must to use FB
Doing discussion, chatting, updating your latest news, getting more closer with friends and families
So when one disappear from the virtual world, they will probably say:"Hey! you disappeared for so long", just because one stop using FB. =__=
I didn't disappear, I'm still alive okay.
If you really care someone you won't be updated through facebook yet to be updated in REAL world.

Well, what's the reason to deactivate?
Too many.
I thought a lot of things these days.
Staying in the virtual world will actually make one looks more foolish
Doing nothing but turn on Facebook and check others' News Feed, Like others' photos and status, Comment others' photos and status etc.
They typed "haha" but their facial expression is not like "HAHAHAHHAAH"
They typed "LOL" but they are actually serious typing 'L' & 'O' & 'L'. never even LAUGH OUT LOUD.
Me, a cyberchild, born on the 90s, used to Facebook everyday without any reason or aim and left out those important things to do, left out my true feeling.
I just can't believe that I will think so much whether it's TRUE or FAKE.
So I think I should stop for a while and think, think what I want to be, what I actually want.

Like everyone's habit, after you on your PC and internet browser, the first thing to do is to type: www.facebook.com.
These are the reason why people are so cool nowadays
Sitting in the MRT, in the bus or in the Office, all facing PC, smartphone etc
Everyone staying in their own little small world without interacting and thus causing communication breakdown.
It's impossible by saying these things out from me I know because I was these kind of people. duh~~

Anyway, my conclusion is waiting in the virtual world or being happy in the virtual world is not your true feeling. It's like "aiya, it's virtual only, no need to take it serious, they don't know me I don't know you, what to scared for". Those inventor who invented EMOTICON are great thinker, they make our world more colourful yet I think it makes people feelings worsen. Some people will take things serious; but some will think it's virtual and won't believe what they seen. So that's the problem with these VIRTUAL world, making things to be in between TRUE and FAKE.

I'm finding my own way to live normally and REAL
I will still use facebook but in another kind of view.
I guess so.

ciao~

依賴

有時候我只想找一個傾訴的對象而不是一個聽我抱怨的對象
原來我的傾訴就算是抱怨
maybe 我應該從新思考自己的個性、語氣
把自己放進別人的鞋子裡聽聽我自己
看看自己是長什麼樣子
瞭解我在講話在發呆的時候是什麼樣子

從小我習慣依賴父母
外面遇難可以依賴爸爸
面對難題可以依賴媽媽
電腦壞了依賴大哥
不敢做的事情可以依賴二哥
課業鋼琴問題可以依賴姐姐
懶惰的時候可以依賴妹妹
來到台灣我必須獨立
我依賴我自己

原來我這麼容易可以找到依賴的人
但是我似乎弄錯了
就算是朋友我也不能像對家人一樣的依賴
no 我太熱情太自作多情 是嗎？
我必須開始收斂自己的想法
我還是會依賴你們但是我第一個會依賴的還是我自己先
謝謝你們願意讓我依賴一點，也讓我欣慰
我會找尋屬於自己的重心
再次深入瞭解自己的個性
思考做人的目的

順順利利的生活反而不會讓我覺得自己長大
往逆境前進 跌倒 和碰釘子 才讓我長大了一點點
MIND 的成長
是需要時間的磨練才能變得更成熟
很高興我來到這裡
遇到這麼多奇妙的人
我相信這次的暑假很難忘
我不敢再想未來
現在的事情沒有做完
做完了我至少有一點點的機會決定自己的未來

天真就是我
邪惡也是我
我很難捉摸
因為我是天蝎座的林慧君

被喜歡和喜歡

當你被一個人喜歡的時候是什麽感覺？
當你喜歡一個人的時候是什麽感覺？
你比較喜歡被喜歡還是喜歡？
當你因為你喜歡的人說了一些讓你摸不著頭腦的話而哭又是爲什麽？
當你一直用理性的思考能力去想你到底爲什麽喜歡一個人的時候，其實你完全已經被感性掌控了。因為當你喜歡一個人的時候你是不會去想爲什麽。

感覺來了卻讓你一直不確定，那又是爲什麽？
或許是因為對方沒有跟你確定而你又是個臉皮薄極度被動的人所以你一直保持沉默。
你想講話卻又不知道對方是不是想聽
爲什麽他可以講很多你卻可以很專心聽甚至很想介入瞭解并完全把思考模式換成是對方的，而在你講話的時候對方卻沒有讓你有這種感覺呢？
你已經夠傻了，因為感性變得更傻
你的自我你的自信你的驕傲去哪了？
一直說服你自己說：“拿下面具，做回最真實的你”
都是一堆表面話
你不喜歡抽煙，卻一直試著接受，這又是爲什麽？
你和對方有時候會有一點代購，而你卻一直想知道更多，這又是爲什麽？
你一直想要的“被喜歡”因為沒有從對方得到而覺得自己很差，所以哭了是嗎？

其實你很驕傲
你太驕傲的覺得自己一定要被愛，你覺得這是理所當然的
你曾經因為家裡的關係而是一個很乖很乖的小孩
其實你的野心比任何一個人都大 你想要的東西比任何人都多
你曾經喜歡過的人 可能是因為自己家裡的或是年齡的關係 你一直沒有踏出任何一步 因為你很乖 你不懂得爭取 所以你失去
也或許你習慣被喜歡 所以當你經歷喜歡一個人的滋味時你才知道那有多不好玩
你曾經覺得曖昧很好，但現在你覺得曖昧是個討人厭的東西
對於一切不確切的事情抱有希望，難道你就不怕失望嗎？
你依然的驕傲自我

你被動的要死，一直覺得把主動權拋給對方是理所當然的
但是從對方的角度想 或許他也希望被喜歡
或許他比你還挑 比你還會想
雖然說21世紀男女平等
但是我就是很保守.......啊
你哭是因為什麽？
因為你想了很多的可能性，但都是自己的猜測
所以哭也沒用
你還是那麼的被動
你現在很矛盾 不知道要怎麼面對這種事情
你現在很自責 覺得自己不夠好
自信呢？！

你怕輸
你希望得到的就一定要到手
什麼時候你好勝心這麼強啊 女孩？
你的情緒請好好的控制

我要走了
你保重
ciao~

Different feeling of Wanting

I realized my English got worsen, so I decided to blog using English.
No direct translate, use proper English okay.

We can crave for what we want mentally, but we must not taking it for granted that you WILL definitely have it.
To get what you want you must first understand why do you want it?
I know too many reasons or analysis will make ourselves confuse at the end,
it's just like buying a swimming suit last week.
Compare with the HUI JUN last time, I will hesitate and think a lot of pros and cons of buying a swimming suit, isn't it tiring? So, I made up my mind before buying, I told myself :"when you found one that really suits you, then buy."
Tadah, I did it and I really love my swimming suit.
Well it's the same when you meet new friend, new environment.
Understand why do you want it is just a simple beginning of accepting new things.

"Definite" is confidence? scary?
There shouldn't have definite answers in life, in ones feeling.
Well, except those mathematics and theoretical questions.
We might change our mind or we might persist towards something
It's not definite that you're happy now and you'll happy forever
Why a pretty girl will be a tomboy the other year?
I believe there are reasons behind them or maybe not?
Sometimes I really wish that I can read people's mind, but sometimes i prefer to brush it aside by not thinking this and that.
SEE! I'm not a definite girl because I always add a "BUT" after saying something.
I should be like my roommate/course mate/best friend --- When you decided something don't always try to turn it over and still hesitating. Follow your first instinct.

Rational vs Emotional
Obviously Emotional wins when I'm facing 'emotional' matters.
I cant be myself when it hits me, well it's the me last time.
The me NOW, I prefer to BE MYSELF.
Make yourself comfortable and real rather than hiding yourself.

Wasai! I really don't have the ability to say some theoretical or inspiring things like those writers.
It's hard to express the feeling by saying it out, so i prefer to type it out.
Ciao~

錯覺也很好

你知道嗎
我以為一切都是雙方的
我真的很不明白那個意思
但是最後一句我真的愣住了

世界這麼多人
好的壞的善意的虛偽的假意的
我不是神一看就知道對方是什麽心態
雙方都很直接  但我覺得我不應該直接
我寧願讓它繼續也不要這麼快被打斷
我現在知道曖昧是個討人厭的東西
它可以變好也可以永遠變壞
一旦壞了那就真的很難彌補

是的...我外表熱情內心冰冷
爲什麽冰冷的心被打破卻又突然被告知沒有適合的地方住

我哭......但哭不出來
爲什麽？之前都很容易就可以表達我想哭的心情
我不知道是我理解錯誤還是什麽
至少我知道那幾句話看了就像鬼魂一樣讓我整天心不在焉

安慰自己的話就是
至少我勇於踏出去
這真的是我有史以來這麼的不被動

我很想哭 但是哭不出來
原來工作真的可以幫忙把東西彌補

來了嗎

當你在做其他事情的時候會不時想起另外一件事
當你下班回來期待得到一個答案
當你得到答案之後突然覺得很空虛
當你空虛之後突然他冒出來你很開心
當你聊到一半的時候電話響起
當電話響起你猶豫emmm了一下好奇要怎麼接
其實都只是簡單的conversation

我只能說
我現在真的不知道自己在想什麽
我很矛盾
因為我不知道我是喜歡那個感覺而已還是喜歡......

我有自己想法那每個人都有自己想法
我會有要求那每個人也會有要求

我.....現在很矛盾
幾年之後那個感覺又回來了
上一次我一直逃避因為那時候的我不適合
我這一次不會用逃避面對而是用互相瞭解

其實要解救自己就是放開

原來我理智和不理智的時候有這麼大的差別
昨天是我第一次不顧一切的跳舞
好多好多的不顧一切
非常非常的多

要解救自己就是要放開自己
要呈現自己就是要放開自己
最後導致過於真實的自己曝露出來了
Image...
那是真的嗎 ？
我真的瘋了！

Isolation

This blog is idled for like one month!?
I'm so sorry of letting you being so alone blogger :(
As you know I was so damn busy this semester, I don't even have enough time to rest.
Woke up at 9am and back to hostel at 12am
I don't need to be like this but I choose to be from the beginning, well my fault.
My fault for being so Optimistic, my fault to be a girl who is full of curiosity in her life

I felt so sorry to my family because I seldom email with them this semester and til now i still haven't reply their letter. Anyways, A big THANK YOU to all of you who always support me, I really need some support seriously.

I felt so sorry to my health as my liver, my heart, my brain,  my stomach, my intestine and all the cells of mine can only rest  for some hours per day. I know both of you can function well because you're young, but sorry for letting you to be so tired and stressed. At least! I did yoga everyweek to let you relax, say thanks to me. LOL Thanks my body without giving up on me and kept on functioning without complaining. I'll let you rest after this semester, I SWEAR!

There were lots of things happened and all I can describe are:
Ups and downs, happy, jealousy, sad, crazy, drunk, musics, life's hard, earn  money, work, Emotional, Studies, Overweight, cried, imagination, performance, braveness, singing, playing, shopping, counting, frustration...
Loads of adjectives to be used to describe but the dictionary in my brain now is limited.
I learned a lot here and got lots of experiences.
Me, from a girl to a girl-woman, I was easily being emotional, I can cry when my mind is blank, and cry eventhough there are some matter that was super-duper tiny. I can expressed my feeling easily though as compared with the HUI JUN before. I'd even analyzed myself, am I facing depression? but I was happy this semester. Why? There are too many I-WANT in my life, I hate to be forced to choose either one, but then this is life, you can't split yourself into two and do what you want. We must give and take and think positively, live in where you are now but not in the past. Isolation and Concentration!

I can see that my EQ is getting lower
Sorry if it disturbed some of you
Dream and Reality. A cruel decision has to be made.
It's hard to reach MY dream yet it's hard too to reach MY reality.
See, I'm just a girl who thinks a lot and indecisive.
I want this, I want that.
I need love I need money I need intelligence I need time I need friends I need SUPPORT!
I'm just selfish and greedy!
The congratulation-award that I should have this semester is my BRAVENESS
I dare to perform on stage solo =)
I sing, I dance, I act. 
Well, I'm totally different as compared with the me during Primary school. Bravo to me

Anyways, Summer break is coming, still I'm not letting my self to be free, I'm going to one of the MaoKong Cafe to work as waitress. My first and very first job as waitress. Say yes to me.

ciao~

Some photo sharing session =)

矛盾+錯亂

“其實”、“如果”...
請不要每次在你的生活用這些字。
它們對你一點好處也沒有。
已經做了就沒有回頭路，使用“如果”就只是讓你說出自己的想像而已。
把弄錯的事情彌補好，就是你現在最好的前路。
就算你感受到了一種隱形的壓迫，請不要胡思亂想就自我決定別人是這麼看你的。
如果你真的覺得自己在別人眼中已經有了一個印象，那就嘗試把它消滅。
嘗試失敗了沒關係，做你自己，他們日後就會明白。
或許日後不會再有接觸，因為只會在這裡4年。
你還是要做你自己，不能因此而逃避。
這樣很懦弱，沒種。
人的感情是建立出來的，壞了就只能用時間修好。

有些事情你必須分辨輕重，懂得犧牲其中一樣才是成功的關鍵。
在你很壓力的時候，哭出來就沒事了。
真的，不要一直去想它，這只是你個人的想像/幻覺。
沒有人知道你面對的事情，再怎麼解釋對他們來說也只是掩飾。
誰會體諒你？
他們不是你的父母，不是你的親人，更不用說不是你最好的朋友，因為他們只是你的teammates。
爲了完成一樣事情而前進的teammates，事情弄完了，他們依然不是你最好的朋友、親人。

你知道自己亂了腳，至少你趕緊說出自己的困境，而沒有把它搞砸了。
做事情就像自己的生命，如果對一樣事情完全停止心跳，那就等於在作廢了。
請勇敢去面對你做錯的事情，這樣才會被看得起。
永遠處於退縮狀態只會讓你的形象更糟糕。
沒有人會知道你在想什麽，請用行動去證明自己願意為之前的過錯彌補。
盡自己最大努力彌補那曾經的過錯。

哭了不就沒事了嗎？
一直去想它，你之前規劃好的行程不就泡湯了？
你想做很多事情，卻因為一直停留在無法原諒自己的錯誤而無法前進，這樣好嗎？
未來還有更多挑戰，這只是挑戰前的暖身，還沒有踏入挑戰的世界你就這麼害怕，這麼擔心，這樣好嗎？
你每次想啊想，結果呢？
別人知道你想什麽嗎？不知道。
你在這裡寫blog，結果呢？
這只是你個人的blog，別人看了只會覺得....哦，原來你最近的心情是這樣。
就這樣而已。

你希望得到什麽？
別人的憐憫？你憑什麼？
別人沒別的事情做嗎？你又不是他的親人和很好很好的朋友。
就算是親人或好朋友，他們知道的也只是你已經弄錯的事情了，不可能代替你抗下錯誤。
也就只有安慰而已。
這時候你難道不知道要做什麽嗎？
做好你自己就好啦！
別人就是你的鏡子，你想這麼多也沒有用。
要看到你自己就是從別人身上看到的。
你到底瞭解了嗎？

請你把自己責任做好，就算已經沒有信心和心去做，也要把它做好，因為這是從小就被教的“責任感”。
別人做不到的，你做。
別人想不到的，你想。
別人看不到的，你看。

這樣從別人的身上就看到你自己了。
你瞭解了嗎？
只能告訴你：“加油好嗎？”
不要再活在單純天真的世界，一直認為你要的就能得到。
你應該發覺這社會的邪惡和真善了吧？
你活在這個競爭的社會，資本主義強烈的社會，你沒有選擇，因為它已成型了啊。
你要往另一邊發展，但請你先把自己提升在來說要怎麼走另一條路好嗎？
送你一句：“沒有事情是不勞而獲的”。
要錢就要付出時間和體力。
要時間就要付出更多的時間努力。

哭過就好。
以後就要一直有像我這笑容哦。=)
from another part of you.

work to live or live to work

Hi Blog, sorry for not using you for like one month!? >_<
You know why? I've a diary.
I actually expressed what I saw, felt, sensed in my life to my new diary.
I believe you won't be dissapointed for not using you because I have a new one.
Right?
Well, this semester I've attended a class about preforming, it's compulsory to write 2 posts per week.
This semester is REAL busy.
Of course there are ups and downs which I'd faced.
It's hard to make a decision and to balance everything well.
I can't be too confident to say that I planned my time well and control my EQ well.
Somehow I realized I did a wrong decision and faced some contradiction in changing the decision.
Anyway, I'll do my best in everything.

Ciao~ off to study.

Full schedule

The best way is to make your schedule full with works!
To escape from those silly thoughts in your mind.
And of course to forget to eat. =X
Nah, I'm not that stupid to make my own stomach uncomfortable.
I will always make it full. =)

No delaying things okay!
jia you.

ciao~~ off to work again.

Suspend and precipitation

Suspend the old ones and precipitate the new ones.
I coincidentally thought of these two adjectives, interesting.
Everyone will have their own resolution on eves i.e. New year eve, Christmas eve, New semester eve etc.
Why?
To achieve.

I watched a movie today "Peaceful Warrior".
Although the environment of watching this movie was absolutely uncomfortable, but I do agree with the synopsis.

Soc: Where are you?
Me: Here
Soc: What time is it?
Me: Now
Soc: What are you?
Me: This moment

Above is one of the quotes from "Peaceful Warrior" which I remembered the most.
Live in what you are living now, in chinese we say 活在當下
We have our own aim in life, but throughout the whole journey, "desperation" are as if those diamonds and pearls in the beautiful glass cabinets, trying to lure you into their "well-paved-trap" causing you farther to your aim. They are not obstacles but time which delayed your thoughts.
Never ever think of the ending when you are doing something.
It will interrupt your thoughts causing you to have little "deformation" in doing something.

I gave an example of my own after watching this movie.
It did helped me.
I failed my Yamaha Teacher's Grade 5 Electone examination twice.
I was angry .
I blamed myself and got angry with the grading graded by the examiners.
I did practiced yet the results were bad.
Third time, I tried to convince myself that exam is just a turning point to continue your endless journey.
You're still in "practice" mood but in different feel.
You are just performing your confidence and talent and what you learnt for more than 10 years!

Do what you want to do.
Not doing everything in 5 minutes, but well-planned.

Nah, typing out what I think is easy.
What about taking it in action ?
Will I really action after typing all my thoughts here?
Time.
I'm not blaming you Time.
You are important in everyone's life Time.
I will appreciate you Time.

That's it for now.
Hui Jun's philosophy.

很多矛盾

爲什麽？
爲什麽跟系上的朋友那麼難打成一片？
明明我自認為覺得自己算social的人。
剛剛上課，巧遇朋友，只哈拉一下就自己走了。
然後坐座位之前，他們站著說話我又很尷尬不知該參進去還是不要，
因為不熟，我就自己走了，坐下來。
問題是沒有人坐著 @@
結果他們坐到很前面，接著又很多人來了。
我也只好移去前面，不然會很“特別”。

每一次回來就是面臨這種問題，
明明是瑣碎的問題，我卻可以心情不好。
好難懂。
也好奇怪。
>__<

寒假前後

寒假好好
寒假之後又要面對一堆課業和自己未來的夢想前進
大學并不像以前上學那樣的普通
課業之餘我必須往事業去想它對我的好處
每次寒假回家都會聽爸爸說很多理論和道理
都是說不完和聽不完的
大多數都是勸告和鼓勵
每次回到家就是多了很多鼓勵
之前害怕去做的，在家人鼓勵之下讓我真的很想往前踏一步

一年
我要為未來的一年計劃了
真的不能只是空談了
雖然很多時候我有很多“想要...”
但很多“想要...”都還沒實現
我是慢熱的人
每次只要遇到新的東西就會慢慢退縮
爲什麽啊？
我小時候是有受保護過嗎？
沒有啊！
人生經驗不夠吧！

去台灣之後又要離開家裡人
看得出爸媽不想我去那麼久才回來
希望這一次他們給我的自由我會好好利用就是了
沒有我欺負和玩弄的妹妹也會想念我吧！XD
每次在朋友面前都會讓大家知道我擁有一個妹妹
讓大家知道我這妹妹就在我的電話桌面 =)
希望她的未來是美好的

雖然很多次有衝動想快點去台灣
但是每次到機場都會沒有胃口吃東西
心情很複雜也很想當個papa and mummy's girl
做在飛機位置上會有種酸溜溜的東西壓在心裡

未來是怎樣就順其自然
我也會為自己擺好路的！
你們放心吧！=)
你女兒正在長大了。

人生的不一樣

小時候做錯事心裡一直掙扎要不要告訴父母，結果還是等到另一天或很久之後才告訴他們。今天心裡同樣出現了這種複雜的心情，但這不是我一個人能夠解決的也涉 及到別人的時間和精神，所以我勇敢的說了。每一次認錯第一個字一說出來就爆淚，還好這一次EQ高只含淚。sigh~~~謝謝你的寬容。=)

今天弄外籍生网页的时候，突然糊涂的按“删除” （用后台）！
当时的心情真的返回小时候不敢认错和开口的状态。
但是想到秘书那么忙，如果现在跟她说一定会給她添麻烦。
但是又想到如果不说一定会更麻烦别人的时间。
我在想解决办法的时候秘书叫我看别人做的东西，当时的她在抱怨那个人做的很烂。
更让我觉得惭愧的是，我心情很复杂的时候秘书一直跟我说谢谢和说麻烦了，当时的我一直很勉强的笑，不知怎么开口。
最后我勇敢的讲了。
我讲的时候有点冷静，但是有点口吃加上想哭的语气。
最后还好秘书给我的反应是很冷静想解决办法。

在我冷靜下來真正思考如何解決的時候，
Copy and paste 就是解決方案。
最令我慚愧的是，我麻煩了正在忙著考試的垂華。
>_____<
還要他趕過去救。
Sorry!!!!!
雖然秘書一直給我安慰，還說了自己曾經犯過更大的錯而老闆還是給予安慰，
但是我還是覺得很對不起。

錯中學習是真的。
之前打報告忘記SAVE而要從新打過是小case。
搭飛機聽說別人的錯誤后而永遠不敢遲到。
按DELETE/SAVE/CANCEL之前先三思啊！

讀書去了，期末考加油。

ciao~

The cruelest option

MSN pm: "Time proves everything yet it's somehow the cruelest option."

Yes, I'm playing with Mr. time.
Everything was spat out.
It was somehow a relief.

Am not going to choose the cruelest option.
It's New year and Last year -- 2012!
365 days are precious and I'm gonna use it like Overfull every 24 hours!