Missing someone

And yes, I miss you again.
So I cried. I won't tell and I won't show.
I know this is super stupid, why am I so silly?
I tried to let go, filling up the timetable FULLY, yet I can't avoid missing you.
You're not extraordinary, you're just a normal human being living on earth.
You have lots of things that I don't really like, but still I miss you.
I don't know where the hell do these thoughts happened on me, trying to accept people who smoke, who drink often. WTH!
I kept on persuading myself that, I like you is because of THAT small little moment, it shouldn't last for so long. Then?! It last for so long now.
I'm just too tired to get updated from FB about you.
This is seriously god damn  unrealistic.
Making you as 'Close friends' as if we're close enough.
WTH! I'm so stupid, so silly, so useless.
Yet, I have my own setting though.
I won't be the one who take the initiative to start a conversation.
So now, one month goes on, your light goes green everyday and I'm waiting like a stupid waiting for miracles to happen?! WTH.

When the hack is 'LONELY' appeared in my life now?!
I feel so unsecured.
Although I made myself like no-need-anyone-to-care face, but it is seriously a fake one.
Everytime when I want to find someone to eat with me, either lunch or dinner, my mind went blank.
Yes, I have dream to reach, but without help, I need to go on a long long long journey.

Tired.
ciao~