Hate this feeling

AGAIN again and AGAIN!!!
I hate this feeling
Being alone in my room with 3 empty tables, 3 empty chairs, 3 empty beds!
Roommates go back to their Taiwan home every weekends
leaving me alone in this silent and full-of-things room.

I wish to have my own privacy
yet now I have
Talk so much some more
Whatever

Back to the day before yesterday.
Was so regret that I never leave my contact
and now we loss contact
maybe that person doesn't want to?
gosh...What the hell am I thinking and acting?!

Drug shouldn't be exist in this world!
because I got 'addicted' already!
gosh... I wish to end it fast
to live stably.

Telling myself that to make yourself happier is to be confident
I'm making myself busy and no relation life
What the hell am I doing?
I seriously need a shoulder
I don't want my self-esteem to get even higher to prove to people that I can live on my own
What the hell am I acting?
I seriously is a good actress who could act like I'm very good
I'm just as if a lamb covered with wolf skin, AS IF okay! think in other ways.

I'm just tired.
I need a shoulder and ears to lie on and listen to me.
WISH.
Everything is only WISH.
Birthday wish.
Praying wish.
Don't expect it will come true!
Face the reality.
These are the FACTS!

Gosh...What the hell am I typing?
What the hell am I thinking now?
K BYE

ciao~~