It's so hard for me to adapt these big difference.
热情的吉隆坡 vs 冷漠的台北
I came back from an environment full with warmth and happiness to this cold and mean city.
I have accompanies in Malaysia, my family my friends.
Here, not to say I have no friends, actually everyone is like me too, live on your own.
The worst thing is I can't pull myself up from "people-are-beside-you" to "no-one-is-beside-you-now" feeling. Gosh, in other words, from dependent to independent.
My roommates, all going back on weekends, leave me alone in this cold and boring room.
You know when you are alone you will have big dreams, REAL big dreams.
I will think a lot to make my mind busy to prevent myself from loneliness.
Think about future,
think about what's next, think about this and that. you know THINKING is
the scariest thing in the world. You will scared to step forward, you
somehow will try to persuade yourself to go on! Think it negatively, all the thing is all in your mind only, and you still have to live what you should live. but think it positively, you grown up and know how to plan and can be independent.
I don't want!!!
Yeah right, I look like an independent girl, LOOK! That's how we must protect ourselves isn't it?!
Friends, I have many here.
but when it comes to Real friend, true friends, soul mate, less than two or perhaps I don't even dare to tag them as my real friends as our bonding is not like secondary friends.
I hate walking on the pathway outside of my hostel everytime when I go out to buy foods.
No one is beside you, but you have to watch other people.
I walk very fast everytime to let myself not to be in this scary pathway.
Adapting.
Am still adapting.
I hate the feeling everytime when I'm gonna leave my home.
I have no appetite. I have no mood in doing things, I will be moody and emo.
I don't like these feelings.
I don't like jealousy or envy to be applied on me.
but I like my spirit in music.
The only thing that I can do whatever I want is playing my guitar baby.
Why I never post videos on youtube the whole winter holiday?
because I don't have to, I have listeners I have precious time spending with my family and friends.
When I come back, I did a video. It doesn't mean I'm happy recording.
It's just a way to prevent myself of thinking too much.
Music is just a way to cure myself from being alone.
Anyways, this is my choice.
I don't want!!!
Yeah right, I look like an independent girl, LOOK! That's how we must protect ourselves isn't it?!
Friends, I have many here.
but when it comes to Real friend, true friends, soul mate, less than two or perhaps I don't even dare to tag them as my real friends as our bonding is not like secondary friends.
I hate walking on the pathway outside of my hostel everytime when I go out to buy foods.
No one is beside you, but you have to watch other people.
I walk very fast everytime to let myself not to be in this scary pathway.
Adapting.
Am still adapting.
I hate the feeling everytime when I'm gonna leave my home.
I have no appetite. I have no mood in doing things, I will be moody and emo.
I don't like these feelings.
I don't like jealousy or envy to be applied on me.
but I like my spirit in music.
The only thing that I can do whatever I want is playing my guitar baby.
Why I never post videos on youtube the whole winter holiday?
because I don't have to, I have listeners I have precious time spending with my family and friends.
When I come back, I did a video. It doesn't mean I'm happy recording.
It's just a way to prevent myself of thinking too much.
Music is just a way to cure myself from being alone.
Anyways, this is my choice.
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