Hi, I broke up, with him. On 25th December 2015, Christmas Day after we had a movie together watching《追婚日記》. Today is the 4th month. I guess I recovered 80%. I am speechless with our ending. I think no one cares and no one loves me anymore. Guess that I got really hurt from this relationship although it only ends for like 3months+. I wanted to brake up with him often. I feel this relationship is too fake and insecure, well anyway I conclude that "He doesn't love me much because he doesn't know what he wants and he is still waiting for that girl". Well, after these all, I am confused too. I don't know what I want and I can't differentiate real and fake feelings. I hesitate and doubt to what people said. I don't believe what they said and will judge and think a lot.
Negative power concurs me blogger. My colleagues and those people around me are so negative. I got emotional easily and I lost my patience often. It was like the whole world did something wrong to me and they owe me an apology.
Maybe the last relationship and my job is the main factor. I feel like leaving, leaving this negative environment and go to a clean circle. 4 months blogger, 4 months, I wasted my time from January till now. I think everyday, every seconds whether to stay or to leave. If I leave, where should I go? Where will I be? What should I do? Who will accept me? Who will welcome me? I feel so alone, helpless. I am all alone, my feelings my emotion my decision, all by myself.
Why? People can spoil your sincerity with one words, with evil. Am I wrong to be sincere? Sometimes I feel it's a waste to put efforts whole-heartedly, you'll get hurt in the end and no one appreciate. I feel like I'm turning evil too, as a revenge. I know this isn't a good choice.
4 months, 120 days, I cried for 60 days+? 以淚洗面.
Anyways good night
